Life with Dizabeth

Transport in the UK! Traveling in the UK! Taxis in the UK!  We have been here seven months (almost eight months) I know – how quicky has the time flown!!  I am delighted to say that I started driving quite soon – okay perhaps that’s a bit of a white lie or as they say in the UK …a bit of a Porky-pie! Anyhow I think it was just over a month being here – and we needed to be traveling in our own car (well I did – not for me the busses – definitely not for me) at this point I would like to give a huge shout out to Marcel and Riaan for their kindness and loaning us one of their cars during that time. One thing, oh my giddy aunt the insurance when driving someone else’s car! Yikes! I do believe as much as Gary would emphatically deny it – he had a fond fascination for the busses, me, not so much! In fact, not at all! The double decker; sitting on the top in the front with the big wide window and the road ahead did zip, zero, nothing for me! Watching out for your stop – ensuring you press the little buzzer before the bus reaches your stop! Nice for some – not for me! 

Robots in Oxford geared for the cyclists 

Digressing slightly here, I don’t mind the trains/underground too much, prefer it to the busses, but if I am given an option, I would prefer to take my car. The interesting point of view of this subject. Chad says he prefers to train it – in fact he hasn’t even renewed his driver’s license. He says he buys back his time. He has a very valid point. I am currently quite a distance from home (28 miles) so I will go so far as to say – when I see a bus ahead of me, I quietly have a little fit! They slow you down – what about when you on what I really thought were quaint country bumkin roads – that is till you traverse them every day and you nearly die A thousand deaths each day from cars coming onto your side of the road – they are like Kamikaze pilots! And the thing is they always have big fancy heavy metal cars – so they most certainly would not be scooped off the road in a whirl landing upside down in the neighbouring field amongst the sheep. Nope it will be me! I literally feel my tummy doing hurly whirlies when a huge car passes and makes no attempt to move a little closer to his side of the road. Oh, my word and the trucks!! Shucks they are like Lewis Hamilton! They clearly ofay with driving these roads everyday – talking trucks. In South Africa I recall especially the freeway they still reconstructing (well have been for the past years!) the freeway that leads to Maritzburg! The trucks on that – they were like a train of trucks. I was always amazed – well the trucks here are definitely not the same amount but close enough and there are trains! Seriously, is there that much freight that we need two T’s; Trucks and trains? The other thing here, when you entering a freeway, the people just come – no easy does it slowly ease your way into the flow of traffic. Nope just go and toughies if no one moves to the other lane. And another thing, I kid you not – traffic when cars are entering the freeway, we go from flying maybe 100kms …. literally to leopard crawling in many instances we come to an absolute grinding halt. In the beginning I would think ahhhh no clearly an accident ahead – soon learnt – nope it’s just people entering the freeway. So, you spend your whole freeway journey stopping and starting! Kid you not. An interesting point, in Oxford and London there are Zero Emission areas, so like my old car – it is not allowed in London, and if you dare to defy them you get fined. I am not exactly sure what the fine is but I certainly know I won’t even try with my old girl.  There are horrendous traffic jams each day – to and from work – one of my colleagues was telling me the reason for this – they are closing certain roads and I don’t mean just whilst they do road works – I mean they well and truly closed – they are trying to get the working class to rather rely on busses and leave their cars at home! So that will be a major pain in the neck! Talking pain this neck of mine you know, – well most of you know about my degeneration of the neck bone story – so some days the old neck really plays up and is quite painful. I have taken to carrying on Deep Heat and lathering that on when it’s a bit much! When I first started here – obviously it was a tad more anxiety, now the problem with me is I am never, ever totally relaxed, I am always tense and so tense my body always! So, when getting to know the job, the people I was forever anxious. This resulted in my neck always being sore – the one day not the first and definitely not the last day I will do this – I lathered on Deep Heat and carried on with my day. I heard two teachers who were ambling past reception comment amongst themselves “can you smell Tiger balm?” I never said a word, the next time a student was at my desk and asked “Mame, can you also smell that funny smell?” in all honesty she didn’t even finish her sentence and I blurted out that it was me …… 

Talking of the students, obviously I never mentioned it was my birthday the next day and in fact the remainder of the week trailing into the following week after I was so touched. I even got baked some cupcakes, home-made birthday cards and gifts. Then earlier this week – one of the girls writing her GSCEs gave me the most gorgeous bunch of sunshine yellow roses! I honestly have always been extremely blessed in all my jobs – two amazing ladies that made such an imprint on my life have to be two of my greatest friends Maureen and Terri-Ann thy were both my bosses at a particular time – both of them know me better than I know myself!! Blessed with jobs and so I am blessed again with this temp position, which I truly do hope will lead to my forever job here in the UK. A few weeks after the birthday surprises another group of girls awarded me with a lovely teeny tiny much of daisies. Yesterday another wonderful surprise from another student – she gave me beautiful pink roses! I was gobsmacked she told me how she would write her exam and just seen me sitting in reception and knowing that I would ask her how it had been and encourage her …. I was touched beyond – but now enough of the ra- ra – raaring of myself. 

So, I don’t think I ra ra raaed about this as it is a tad embarrassing! On my ‘groot trek’ home after work each day – I listened and obeyed each instruction given to me by Sheilagh (aka Google maps!) if she said go off the freeway up the walk way and drive until you see a rainbow – I did exactly that! It took me 3 weeks – I am beyond embarrassed – three weeks……. T-H-R-E-E WEEKS of listening to her, ok wait lets go back a bit here. So, she told me to take a particular off ramp, which I did – I decided I didn’t like the route she told me to take which was let’s say the third exit – so then and there decided nope I will take the second one. Which I merrily did – again I re-iterate for THREE BLADY WEEKS!!! The one day I took the off ramp as instructed and then took the next ramp onto the freeway and as I did this, I pondered wonder why she tells me to go off the A34 – which I duly do and then I go right back onto the very freeway (A34) I have just exited! Can you imagine how many drivers I intrigued as they saw me exit the freeway only to re-enter the freeway! I know, I know I have noooooo …none words! I am beyond delighted to say I have secured a permanent job – and at a school! I truly, truly have found my niche here …at MySchool I always loved the interaction with the schools – and being the receptionist here I have to say I am so, so happy. The only bug bear has been the traveling – 28 miles in the morning and 28 miles in the afternoon with heaps and heaps of traffic! It has been fascinating driving the same way each morning you see the same moms/dads waiting with their kid as they await the bus, the same moms cycling their kids to school. Oxford is known as the Cycling city of UK – and that it sure is! The different contraptions you see on the roads, a normal bike with attachments on it like almost a side car where you get kids (more than one on some occasions) sitting in it as mom or dad cycle. All I ever think is can you imagine; my boys can be forever grateful they were not brought up here – as each time I cycled up a slight incline I would have hoiked the boys out and insisted they help me push the blady bike up the hill!!! 

Typical moms taxi in Uk (imagine me!!) 

Ah this is my worst!! Yesterday I did a whole add on to this and its gone!! So let me try recall what I was saying! I mentioned a whole bit about charity shops and just how much Gary and I are loving discovering them! When we were still in SA – we loved frequenting Shongweni market, and on one of the last visits I found and bought a beautiful little house ornament, why? It reminded me of my mom. But then when I got here, I spotted little house ornaments here too! They are replicas of actual cottages in UK. Now my collection has got that big that I needed to buy a wooden shelf.  And to add to this – Gary has for a long while collected cars. When we packed up to come across, we spent weeks, months tidying decluttering …. well haven’t we started from the beginning again and all that stuff we gave away to charity shops in SA – and felt so clean and free after decluttering, well we are back in the same cluttered boat!!! Our little granny mouse country house is very, very busy. I giggled the other day – when we brought the shelf home, I said to Gary I can just hear Ryan and Chad when it’s time for us to be shipped off to an old age home – or die, both boys flipping coins as to who get the tedious task of packing up our house! Talking charity shops have you ever noticed, when you buy a brand new out the box Barbie, they always have this amazing shiny long blonde hair, and when you see then after probably a week they have blonde fizz bomb hair, I have never seen a years old Barbie doll who still has the most amazing hair – have you? 

This blog is all over the place isn’t it! Now going back to the driving and, and, and. This morning my car needed a service so I dropped Gary off at work and drove his Flippen ox wagon to work (those 28 miles!!!) there were plenty moments where I thought FRIK these fellow drivers really are getting a tad irritated with me and my ox! And it got me thinking, I have thought it a thousand times. In SA we all had number plates according to our Provinces – remember at holiday time if you lived at the coast how you would flook the Vaalies with their GP plates, and even comment about ah typical the way they drive! Here we all one and the same – no one knows where you from you all Brits! (Or are we??) 

And that my beloved faithful friends is all she wrote for now! I have a week and a half to go at this mazing school. And then a new Chapter commences in my book of life.

UPDATE:

As most of you are aware Ryan was involved in a bad accident a month ago. Thank you Lord although he is very badly injured we have Faith that he will be the strong wonderful young man he has always been. Everyday is an incredible the progress he is making.

I commenced my permanent job at a school here in our local village on 4th July after leaving Rye, I was totally blessed with that temp position and showered with flowers etc on my last day – cards and flowers of thanks from parents, pupils and the staff of Rye. What a brief blessing that time was in my life, thank you Lord for that time. 

On the 8th August Gary and I will make our way to my dearest darling Son and family. 

Thank you for all the prayers, love and support. Thank you for those that have participated in Back a Buddy, your kindness is BEYOND appreciated thank you.

Please keep Ryan in your prayers. 

I hope you are all well and enjoyed my news.

Till next time stay well and warm – love you all madly. 

Mwah mwah 

Never mind the greener grass, these dazzling fields catch my eye everyday!

As I sit and type I can hear the rain pounding on the windowpane, a day that started as a bright yellow sunshiny day is now grey – and wet. In saying that – I still prefer this weather to the intense heat we endured in the last days of both Nelspruit and Durban. The big difference however, no Kruger or pounding crashing waves – just bright yellow daffodils everywhere! But that will suffice.  So, as I check through my latest blog before posting it (you know it takes me a month of Sunday’s to complete each one!) today has been Sally sunshine all day. The summer is one its way, 8pm at the moment is when our sun contemplates setting!

This is a rapeseed field in our hood. Exquisite I am sure you will agree.

A lot has happened since last I wrote, there have been many bumpy roads and freeways I have traversed – although one thing I am still doing each day I drive, dodging the potholes! Oh yes, my dearest reader don’t let anyone tell you there are no potholes – there are plenty of them! I do believe though they never get time to fix them because its forever raining. So, digress again she does! Where was I, when last we chatted? We had arrived, sight-seeing, etc.,. A quick recap; I do believe I did mention the job that lasted a day and a half. And all because Dizabeth felt she wouldn’t cope. In retrospect I look back now and know I would have coped. By now I would have aced my probation and been an ace at being a dental receptionist. Who knows why these things happen, but one thing – it clearly wasn’t meant to be! Because we were seeking a new home I needed to be working, so walking out of my 1 and a half day job certainly wasn’t my finest moment! But thanks to Michelle I was able to secure – yes! I am recalling now – I did mention the house keeping job! And the horrid bullying boss! So, thank goodness that chapter came to an end once we had secured our home.  I have been “blessed” as I have been a stay-at-home lady – definitely not a lady of leisure for just over a month, when I start work next week it is probably a month and a half that I have had time to regroup, gather my thoughts; read, watch copious amounts of TV, sort my house.  Our cube arrived – so we moved in on the 3^rd March and our cube with all our personal goodies arrived on the 7^th March, perfect timing I agree! I am extremely betwixed and between at the moment, there is a part of Liz that is rearing to go and there is the other part saying – golly gosh I would love to stay home and be a lady of leisure. In saying that though I think it is definitely important for me to feel I have a purpose and right now, hmmm I definitely don’t have one. So yes, it will be lovely to get dressed each morning, put some make up on and go to work.

I am beyond delighted to share with you dear readers just how much Gary and I are loving our new home, it really is beautiful in a teeny tiny village known as North Fawley in Wantage.  When I think back on all those nights wide eyed, definitely not bushy tailed, tossing and turning, worrying if we were making the right decision, the safety net of our family and friends a mere phone call away, to flying across many oceans and having a handful of friends and one family member, was it worth it? Hell yes! So much has confirmed we made the correct decision – certain things have changed dramatically so if we had stayed in SA, I do believe we would soon be facing far scarier situations than the ones we have faced here in the UK.  The other day I had this vision of myself,  who cannot tolerate puzzle building – I envisioned me opening the box, the puzzle pieces falling haphazardly onto the table, and me – again definitely not a vision that any of you would ever see, I am certainly not a puzzler, but as I was saying, me searching through the pile of pieces and slowly fitting the puzzle together, each piece fitting perfectly into place with the others! This is how I see my life, all those years and occasions when I have tossed and turned and angst beyond a particular situation and it turned out exactly as it was supposed to. Gary’s aunt nailed it – she said sometimes it’s best to do nothing – and by doing nothing it all falls into place! Damn straight and thank you darling Wends!

Chad has been amazing too, him and beautiful Monet have spent weekends with us, recently it was the Easter weekend, I have to say I do believe I was the happiest mom on God’s green earth. Chad and Monet don’t sit around and wait for the paint to dry. They paint that wall and seek their next adventure as it dries. Hence, we have had two amazing weekends with them! We explored the Cotswolds, in particular Burford and Stow. What true perfectly perfect little Countryside villages they were! There is no denying I am in total awe of just how exquisite the UK is, again I stipulate the countryside in particular. Our village is currently wrapped up on all sides by vibrant bright yellow fields as far as the eye can see, its rapeseed fields. Soon apparently, they will be replaced with Poppy fields and my personal favourite, Sunflowers. Truly breath taking. A trip to the little village centre is a delight each trip we take. Talking trips, I also am a proud owner of another Suzuki. This one is the big brother of my little Suzuki Swift I so reluctantly sold in SA. I have always been a small car driver, and now without much thought I decided on the Suzuki Grand Vitara. She is a grand old lady and I love that together her and I are steering through all my journeys.

I certainly have caught up on the books I had hung onto for many months with the thought that someday I would read that book! Been loving the early morning laze in bed and read before starting my very quiet day! I am extremely happy Gary and I decided on bringing a cube. The thought there was after all the years (and monies spent!) collecting Santa’s I didn’t want to leave them behind, so it commenced with just the Santa’s coming along for the ride, it soon developed into a cube, and I am so delighted we decided on that! Albeit not in real life but seeing all my specials in the form of many, many framed photos each day certainly fills that missing them feeling quite a bit!

It’s crazy too, those little bits and bobs that were scattered all around our house, the white rabbit ornament that so and so gave to you, the pink bowl that was given to me – all of these little biddy bits each have their place – and when I take out that pink bowl in this instance – my Lis – I always think of you – thank you for giving it to me back in the day. 

It’s crazy how home will always be home! The first Saturday morning we decided to amble into “town” to explore – unbeknown to us there was a flea market (of course there was – no matter where you are in the world, have you noticed?  Saturday mornings are for ambling the local “farmer’s market” on alternatively doing Parkrun (in my case, walk! Which I do terribly Pam, I miss park walk and you alot) so digressing slightly again from afar we spotted the SA flag flying regally and high against the bright blue skies of Wantage.  Well Gary and I just about did flick flacks making our way over to the SA flag table, it is a local Saffer who makes Boeri rolls, sells biltong, boerewors and a few local supermarket things – ie Ghost pops, Ouma rusks etc., the other day I was casually trotting around the aisle of Sainsbury, remember right now my time is truly my time – so yes I amble everywhere – and my eye spotted Milo – good ol Milo – so of course that was scooped into my trolley. Talking trolleys – dearest Dizabeth was shopping for household goodies (cleaning stuff, feather duster etc.,) before we moved into our new home. Now in the UK, you need to always have a pound handy as that pound gives you access to a trolley. So, there I was, oh another thing, remembering to take your own bags (and packing your own groceries! Sigh sigh!). So, I put my pound in, took the trolley, threw my collection of bags (that you pay for when you acquire them!) into said trolley and started wandering the aisle of some home shop. I soon realised that they didn’t have what I required, so didn’t dearest Diz take a quick peak around and make a hurried departure out of that store leaving said trolley in the middle of an aisle!! Only to get to the next store and realise – I had not only ditched my trolley in the middle of the useless to me store, but in doing this I have forfeited my collection of bags and my one and only blady one pound! I was a bit taken aback yesterday, driving home I frikken noticed an empty trolley lying sideways on the pavement – it actually wasn’t a pavement it was a lovely grassy green sidewalk, and there lay this trolley! Wasn’t that a familiar sight back home, abandoned trolleys along the side of the roads! Well in my hood there were plenty.

What’s also fascinated me. I have always thought I don’t have an accent; well it would seem I do! I have had two incidents; one I was looking without any success for a packet of ice. Eventually I asked a shop attendant, well the shock and horror on his face when I asked “Sorry (why do we Saffers always apologise!) so I said “sorry where would I find your ice?” – he was well and truly speechless and asked me to repeat myself, so I changed my wording slightly  “where would I find a packet of ice” – he roared with laughter as relief replaced fear on his face. “ah he said I thought you were asking me where is my arse!!” The second incident I was looking for pies, also the confusion reigned supreme eventually I said “a pasty” and then said a “pie” he said “oh ok” he took me to the pies I asked if  I had said it incorrectly he replied: “No it’s your accent” I was horrified and asked was it that bad to which he very diplomatically responded “Ah its just been a long day” – really!

I have also signed up as a Pet Sitter, my first dog was Teddy the German Shepherd who tore into my house like a blady tornado, he jumped up and literally swallowed one of my ornaments, the lady was still here, she laughed and said don’t worry he eats rocks I was thinking – and you don’t clearly have a sark with him eating the pet sitters ornaments either! We went for a walk, we came upon two horseback riders, well next to them I considered joining them and riding Teddy! He loved counter surfing, he was WILD! Today I have Lenny the Daschund who is staying far far away from me- must be my perfume (well I hope its that and not me!) I have also painted (water colour) that was fun and as I approach my last weekend, I guess I am ready for that blady working world again (sigh sigh!)

And on that note, this is all she wrote (for now!)

Treasure you all.

Till next time.

Mwah mwah

PS – the days are coming to and end, after 4 months our Rosie Rose should be with us sooner than soon. HAPPY HAPPIER HAPPIEST DANCE EVER!

First blog of 2024:

No one ever said it was going to be easy, in fact if I am honest with myself a trillion (huge exaggeration) of my friends and family went as far as saying “how brave we were” to which I always thought to myself with way, way too much confidence “ahh come on it isn’t any biggy”! Well dear reader I will be the first to stand up, wave my white flag and shout (in fact scream) you were right, I admit defeat! And they say Africa is not for sissies, my dear, dearest readers Africa and in particular Southern Africa is Heaven!!!

We arrived on the 6^th December, so we fresh off the boat so to speak, the first few weeks like anything new, were amazing. Beyond amazing. We were in the midst of the Christmas season and let’s face it, the UK certainly (and the USA not that I have ever been to USA) definitely can stand up and claim the bragging rights – it is magical. The lights and decorations are truly, truly unbelievable. Add to that the whole Christmas vibe, everyone you pass wearing Christmas hats and and! Yet even then, during all the beauty and magic of the Christmas season, I did have those “ah I miss all my specials back home” moments. It took quite a while before we saw our youngest son who emigrated here in April 2023. So that’s another thing, before we arrived my friend casually mentioned from Heathrow just “hop” on the train and make your way to my house in Kent. She had kindly offered for both Gary and I to bunk down with her and her sister till we were settled. At this stage I also was totally emphatic that my darling furry daughter Rosie would be right alongside us on the plane. Well, she wasn’t and although I am loath to say this – this was a Godsend. I have always been one of ‘those people’ (I have now decided, “those” people are actually rather annoying when they (me) say “ah everything happens as it is meant to, and it works out for the best”. Well let me tell you dear reader, when you are as “gatvol” as we are at this present moment; that truly is the most annoying thing anyone can ever say to you! I know right! Anyhow so as I was saying just hop on the train at Heathrow – well that was enough for me – I was beyond mortified. How the heck could she possibly be serious? Having to disembark from OR Tambo, King Shaka or Cape Town domestics is enough for me – now you are asking me not only to disembark from an “international” flight landing at blady Heathrow but now you also asking me to find my luggage, find the train station and hop on and hop off at your address! Really? Oh, the other very weird and incredibly frustrating thing this side of the world, postal codes. No, no not the postal code of Nelspruit/Durban, I mean I used to get confused was it 1200 or 1201? Box or street address!? Now it is something like this, if you reside in Oxfordshire its OX followed by three numbers which seem pretty random to me but they obviously not, as if you type in the postal code well it takes you there and then to exactly wherever it is you may be living, visiting etc., so its three numbers and then the first two letters of the suburb. I know hey! So basically, if you don’t have that code which has happened to me on more occasions that I care to recall – putting it quite bluntly you are buggered/lost/abandoned – all of the above!  So, the reason I went through all the above was to explain just how hectic it is when you ask someone to meet you at the airport. The expense alone of getting from your house to Heathrow, its unbelievable. In a nutshell people just don’t do that! Another thing especially if you reside in London, you do not – I repeat definitely do not own a car as then you need to pay and own …. yip you read correctly, own and pay for a parking!!!!! Another fun fact: If you drive an old car that tends to release far too many emissions as old cars do, wait for it – you get fined! Anyhow, so arriving at the airport in good old South Africa, you would rush to your local Chinese shop, get those welcome balloons, streamers the whole shebang and be excitedly awaiting at arrivals – not here! I swear I was bleak when we walked out of arrivals and not one familiar face or bright streamer and balloon welcomed us! So, in conclusion why I was mentioning this was its just such a mission to travel from one part of the country to the other that it took us forever to see Chad. When we did, it was truly incredible. My heart couldn’t have been fuller. We stayed with him over Christmas. He lives in Richmond (I could share the postal code, but I won’t coz then you will know EXACTLY where he lives!) which is along the Thames. No doubt because he is family – this truly was the happiest time of my new life thus far! In fact, I lived many years in South Africa after he completed his schooling with him being away from home at Stellies for years and then setting up his forever home before he emigrated in Cape Town and although, as was the case when my elder son left home after school days were done – I really suffered from empty nest syndrome – however I cannot really understand what it is here. Maybe because we in a foreign country but even though I know Chad is about an hour’s journey away from me, I tend to get quite “empty nesty” when I don’t see him for a while! I guess if I think about it – back home even though I didn’t see Ryan our eldest and his awesome wife Michelle and our two precious grandsons that often we were in our own country, and it was all still familiar and if you weren’t seeing the kids, you would still be deciding to braai over the weekend with friends. Yip, I reckon that’s what it is!

Anyhow so yip we had an amazing Christmas with Chad, and just like all over the world the festive season ended. It was time for Chad to return to his job and for Gary and myself to seek employment. Which I am very proud to say we both did. The first jobs we applied for were the jobs we got! Fabulous I hear you gasp – except in my case it wasn’t that fabulous at all!!! I thought how hard can it be, when I was offered a position as a dental receptionist I accepted! Well, I lasted two days! I kid you not!! Two frikken days! Firstly, the patients would phone in and did I take forever, if I did at all by the end of the call comprehend exactly what it was that they were trying to say! The different accents! Then they would, in detail explain exactly what the problem was with whatever blady tooth it was and expect me to diagnosis what the next movement should be! Do you need to pop in to see the dentist or should I just tell you to pop a Panado or two and call back in a week’s time! Well, you all know what a highly stressed bunny I am already so on day two after many tears in the toilet I went in and resigned, and I swear the office manager seemed more relieved than me – or was it my confidence – seems we will never know! Anyhow so because I stepped out of the working world this created a huge mission, we didn’t have sufficient funds to get our own home! Now this could be a whole new chapter just on the difficulties of getting a home. There is such a demand and that there is available – is snapped up in the blink of any eye. We then found a place so stopped searching, (for three weeks!!!) after three weeks – by now we were purchasing furniture for our new home etc we then suddenly receive an email telling us the deposit needed would be 11 540.96 pounds. I know – work that out in our South African rands! It is a definite no, so we are now in a long stay till we find our forever home, and if we don’t the long stay will chew our handful of rands, and we will literally be homeless! Ok sorry I have kind of lost the light and funny in this article hey!!! But the sad thing is – this is the reality. So, I hurriedly sorted out another job for the house hunting to continue. Guess what I am now, from administration whizz in an office with the same company in South Africa for sixteen years. Ta da!!! I am now a housekeeper! And one that in her 60’s is being bullied!!! I kid you not! The struggle out there is real dear reader. I am most definitely being taught some lifers I never, ever imagined. I was forever grateful that neither of my sons nor their sons have ever had the experience of a bully and here I am, mom and nan being bullied.

In saying that though I have excelled in many ways!!! I am the designated driver, my friend very kindly loaned us her spare car and put it under my licence, so I am only able to drive. Oh, my frikken aunt you must see Driving Miss Daisy on the highways and byways, down the VERY, VERY EXTREMELY narrow country roads – in fact as I type this, I am wondering back in the historian days were these “roads” actually foot paths and the person who first purchased a car probably Henry Ford himself mistook this path as a road!!! Couldn’t have been Henry Ford as he was American unless of course Google maps messed with him as well and he commenced his first journey in the UK instead of USA! Sheilagh and I are huge buddies, I am quite disappointed in a way as I would imagine as I commence my journey each morning by now she should be at the point where she says “Morning bestie where we going today repeatedly and then doing u turns , and then going to the next village and returning from it before you realise I was trying to explain to you that Tesc’so is only 4 miles away and not for aisles away?” Oh, and the other thing is – putting in your own diesel – well I have cracked that too!!! The first time Marcel was with me, we giggled and videoed our way through it! The second time I was alone, so far more serious. I sat in the car pumping queue and waited my turn; this was for approx. 20 minutes as I prayed so, so hard I didn’t make s fool of myself, but I cracked it!! I noted the amount and what pump I was at and confidentially started my engine and moved the car to the parking outside the shop so I could go in and pay. It was at this instant I noticed strangers staring at me – making little notes of what I was wearing, what colour my hair was and of course my number plate! Until one lady nervously walked towards me and asked what I was doing. I explained I filled my car, moved it to the parking lot so other clients could fill their car and then was going in to pay. No, no that’s not how it is done here, you leave your car, go pay and then move your car! I mean really, how completely irritating and time delaying is that – but next time I shall do what is required even though we will all be late for work and such!

If at any given moment Rishi Sunak had to ask my humble opinion on things I would change in the country! It would have to be – lets tidy the freeways once a week! It is mortifying to drive along the freeways and byways yes, its green field upon field of beauty and greenery – yes even in the winter – but my soul the carcasses along the side of the road! Shucks man, little foxes, badgers, big and small deers – each journey is like watching an episode of American Horror Story I kid you not! It’s bizarre and totally upsetting and I am an adult – Imagine the trauma a little kid goes through as their parent whisks them by these cute dead and rotting little creatures swear this is a true WTF moment!!!! Add to that – I reckon the black crow should be the UK’s national bird – they are swarming everywhere as they screech and cackle like the witches from Macbeth!          

If, let’s just say Rishi appreciated my idea re tidying the carcasses off the freeways and asked me for another handy hint how we could change the country I would say PLUGS! No one washes their dishes with the plug in!! when you ask, they say there is no need there is plenty of water out there! Which there is but my giddy aunt I just think of us with water restrictions and the harsh desolate droughts that occur and that’s only in South Africa, what about the remainder of Africa. All this water flowing down the drain just to rinse a cup! Makes absobladalutely no sense to me!

On the work front I have a whole new respect for Patricia my cleaning lady in South Africa. I used to hear her bash the vacuum cleaner and cringe and think to myself as I rolled my eyes and sighed inwardly “Can’t you just watch the blady furniture?” – as an ‘experienced’ housekeeper NO you cant!!! The blady furniture gets in the way of the vacuum cleaner and you do bash into it!!

I also would love to know, have I lost or gained weight? This is debateable as right now I am majorly stressed but to curb that stress yours truly is devouring jugs of wine each night which we all know tends to make one weighty! BUT each day I am making beds, cleaning loos, polishing furniture stripping beds, hoovering and bashing into the polished furniture!

Another experience I shall share with you my dearest readers is transport! The trains and the busses Gary has grasped willingly, me hmmm not so much. Yes, I think they fun but when you got a heavy, heavy (beyond heavy) suitcase you need to lug up two flights of stairs all on your own and with many rushed and stressed fellow passengers trying to get past you – its quite stressful. Then we had the experience of harsh winds and a tree fell on the railway line, the train ran over it – this caused the train journey to come to an abrupt end. The train journey was cancelled, not their issue apparently. We ended up getting home that night at some ungodly hour at an exorbitant cost as we had to taxi it home!! So, is this the land of Milk and honey?  Am I living the dream? Not yet, but I do recall my son and Gary on one of my trillion moments when I have been sobbing and sobbingly said “I hate it here” they have replied “Remember how you felt the first time you arrived in Nelspruit – and look how that turned out for you?” – To fill you in those that are not aware, we arrived in Nelspruit from Durban and I sobbed , the the day we left as I was relocated for work I sobbed and sobbed. I will forever have a very, very special place in my heart for dearest Nelspruit!

My last funny experience I will share with you, I was in a Supermarket and looked everywhere and no where could I find a bag of ice so I asked a shop assistant: “Sorry where could I find your ice?”. This guy stared at me like I had lost my mind and asked me to repeat myself. So, I did then realising he still cannot comprehend, I changed my wording to “Where would I find a packet of ice?” he looked at me and burst out laughing and he said, “Mame I thought you were asking where is my arse!”

And that dear reader is all she wrote.

Till next time take care, stay well.

Much much love always

PS: I need to explain the reason I mentioned it is a Godsend that our precious Rosie didn’t come on the plane with us, and is still in SA thanks Ryan and Michelle for looking after her, we are currently living in a long stay. We have no idea where or when we will find our first home. But rest assured the day we get handed our front door keys will be the same day Rosie will be flying across the seas to join her mom and dad. Please dearest readers hold thumbs this day is sooner than soon.

Last year (so translated when we lived in Nelspruit) when Gary worked a normal day and bustled off in the traffic every morning and I worked my usual working day from home, I enjoyed it – it was the way life was – and it was good! When we relocated to KZN I cannot fib, I battled with this sudden 24/7ness of having Gary around. It frankly cramped my style! I recall the one day grabbing my keys and hop, skipping and jumping towards my car when I heard “where you off too? Wait a minute and I will join you” ….well, well dear reader didn’t the heckles on the back of my neck rise! Then I kind of grew into our new routine and actually enjoyed it (I know right!)  I loved the togetherness of him being around, whilst I type this I am wondering, was it more the fact that I had someone who was helping with the household duties, washing the dishes, definitely never sweeping, but hey washing the dishes is a goodie for me 😊 and let’s be honest the company. In the back of our minds was the constant financial concern – but somehow each month we limped through, and we made it. Last week we were delighted when he secured a 3-month contract. Monday morning arrived, oh my blady giddy aunt – I was never aware of the ungodly hour he would set his alarm for – bottom line – he leaves in the dead of night (huge exaggeration!!!) and returns home in the dead of night. (well, to me dear reader!) and I have been hating it – the first two days I am embarrassed to admit – I was a bit like a deranged woman when he arrived home. I was Mrs Grumpasarus of note! And didn’t I make it known, why I hear you ask? Good blady question dear reader – one I cannot answer as just the other day dear Dizabeth was doing cartwheels that we (he) had secured a position to pay the blady bills. Anyhow, I have chatted to dearest Dizabeth, the diagnosis that the angels on both my shoulders reckon, it’s still a case of settling into our new home town and now another new blady daily routine. Hey, it was all good when it was dearest Dizabeth galivanting to Mauritius and conference and he had to contend with his own company almost 24/7 but heck its totally different when Diz has to contend with her own company! I say that like it’s a bad thing it isn’t, her and I get on very well (most days!)

Anyhow, this whole shanigan got me thinking back to days gone by. When we were young – my word was it just me, when Gary would dare go away on a fishing trip, now this was long after the kids were born, when we would have the worldly worries of parenting, sleepless nights, chickenpox, and measles so we both yearned for a weekend away – something that was never really afforded us young moms. I remember being distracted by the busyness of the boys so I couldn’t collapse with loneliness (or was it envy) whilst he fished with the boys. I do recall, when the boys were a bit older (so could entertain themselves) and Gary went on a work trip for 2 weeks (which involved two blady weekends) now that trip definitely got the miss-o-meter ticking but if I look back now – I am damn sure it was 1000% envy of seeing the world out there whilst I saw the next sports field, dropped and fetched the boys from school, cooked the dinner and and and ….

Ok, so we all know I take a couple of months (weeks in reality) to write each blog, so this is now – hm what is it …. Maybe a month down the line and in all honesty, I am getting – actually not “getting” I am well and truly beyond irritated how he now feels he is doing his part by simply getting up going to the office and returning at night. All those duties of washing dishes, well they have completely, and I mean completely gone out the proverbial window which is peeing me off MAJORALLY.

Who says that because I work from home I must blady cook, clean and and and ………………so this miss-o-meter – well to heck with it – it is replaced by the totally bummed off meter!! He truly doesn’t have many duties – but let’s face it – isn’t it only fair we both have household daily duties? His is doing the cat boxes! Well last week I decided bugger it I refuse – simply Capital R for REEEEEEFUSE to do the cat boxes. I admit I bought the cat sand, placed it by their boxes and waited. Well dear reader I eventually was wearing a gas mask 24/7 – as one thing – don’t, I again repeat DON’T ever, eeeever tell Gary what to do – that’s where you lose the battle – so I didn’t tell him and he well and truly I can only surmise he must have nasal problems and does not suffer the odor that permeates in the blady house! So, yip dear reader – guess who is also doing the cat boxes! Now here I am reaching out; what dear reader would you do if you were me? Friends have suggested I leave the dishes to pile up, leave the cat boxes to explode with blady cat do-do! I cannot! It’s not in my nature, and obviously ‘someone’ – ‘someone’ knows that dearest Diz will eventually give in and do it!

Another thing, all – in fact damn it!!! As I am now pounding on my keyboard – everything. I mean     E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G is being left for me to do. We had a blady idiot side swipe our car and knock our mirror off, yip yours truly went to the police station and reported it – I completed the paperwork for the claim. W.T.F!!! Where is the fairness in this situation? This morning – guess – yip guess who was putting chlorine in the pool! Now seriously don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind but shucks this is taking it to the extreme. I would LOVE to jump in my car, head off to the office for the day, no doubt probably spend majority of one’s day on my cellphone looking at online news, and receiving jokes from my friends who are no doubt also sitting at their desks looking at their blady cellular devices – at the end of the day – jump into my car – and let’s remember the “ah woe is me as I battle my way through the traffic and get home a tad later than usual” bleat I get every night he returns! And once we are back home the TV is switched to the news, I pour myself a drink and ask what is for dinner!!! S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y!!! My word, this sounds like I wrote the blady script for “Don’t worry Darling” – anyone you seen that! Yip, well it certainly is sounding like the story of my blady life right now (sigh sigh!)

So as I wrap this blog up – in the beginning I was sharing how much I miss this man each day – now as I think about it – I am thinking, those fishing trips he went on and I was left at home, those days I would traverse the country lifting and fetching the boys from school boy rugby etc  – hell man – it’s payback!!!

It’s time for me to arrange a blady girls trip. How uncanny since my last blog was about how wonderful weekends away can be – hm maybe that has got me thinking, and that’s exactly what is needed – a weekend away for me – for him to be home and frikken notice the mess he creates – that the dish washing fairies are not tidying after him and that the blady cats odor does not somehow vapourise – it’s his beloved that also blady works all day that is doing all this !! DAMN IT

And that dear reader is all she wrote this time. Thanks for the therapy session.

Stay well and warm and remember be kind to you.

Mwah mwah

Thinking about this title, it doesn’t necessarily need to be a conference. It can be a mom’s weekend, wine club weekend, Book club retreat – just a brief period of time away from the family and “duties of mommy hood” 😊 – Tsk Tsk I hear you sigh to yourself; Why oh why would I need time away from the kids (and hubby) well, dear reader my question to you; “Why indeed not?”

So, in my case, it was conference. Because of COVID we hadn’t had a conference in a while, since COVID we meet virtually every week, same time same place, mostly on the same day! So, we don’t have to be caught unawares when we hear that ZOOM ringing deep within the belly of our computers. We are ready and in fact we love that time together. (Oh, my giddy aunt I sound like Carol Burnett now! You know which song I am talking about dear reader – well you oldies will. That one she used to sing at the end of her show I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song”!) Ok now that was a major digression, anyhow so we are all spit spot and ready for our weekly ZOOM and of late in those ZOOMs our boss had even questioned us about available dates etc., for our NON-Zooming looming conference. Ok, so let me explain, we work remotely (nope, this we cannot blame on COVID) that’s what we signed up for when we joined our company and yip, it is the perfect job – let’s be honest for a mom its frikken the ideal position! We have an amazing team (and no, no dear reader I am not simply saying this as I know my blog is out there and the boss lady may read this – not at all!) We truly are an incredible team. We have been together for centuries. (Nope not kidding) as you know I am 60, and the rest of the team are 60 over or under, but not as low as 20” s – you get my drift! Some of us are even Nans/grans. We are a team, and I will go so far as to say – we are firm friends as well. We are scattered throughout South Africa too. So now that you have a bit of a background lets get back to the conference/book club retreat whatever the reason may be that Mama bear/wife/ could/would be away from home for a couple of days – and the real, the true real beauty of this invite.

 For one, not having to make dinner or school lunches in the morning or having to clean up after making dinner/breakfast/lunch whatever meal you are making! Instead, ta da …….. YOU dear reader will be served – yip – the tables have changed, and you will be served! You don’t have to think about what to cook – ah and you could even have more than one choice for whatever meal you will be sitting down to be served to you! Another thing! You won’t have to lay the table – nope – you dear reader can arrive at the already set table, fresh as a daisy! Bliss, I hear you say – damn right! Heck – you could even have a glass of wine – uninterrupted! Okay just a thought here, the above paragraph sounds like one of those Peter Stuyvesant cigarette ads in the late 70s do you recall them? Once again oldie readers!

For those of you that have a glass of wine whilst stirring the gravy, (how many times do we burn ourselves, distracted as we check on the roast in the oven?) listening to the little one read, as the older ones bicker in the background all whilst hubby sits and watches a replay – yip a replay of last – yip last Saturdays rugby game, in case, just perhaps the score will change from the final score last Saturday! And on that note, imagine YOU holding the TV remote, you have domain of that little device. Netflix and chill? That is the other dream come true scenario; the bed is all yours! You can stretch out, lay in the middle, wrap all the blankets around you without having to cling to them for dear life worrying they will be snatched away from you. No one encroaching on your side of the bed, slowly easing you off the bed! At least 6 hours (or more – the choice is yours – how brilliant that is!) peaceful sleep. And no one will holler your name in the dark of the night, no one will awaken you from your slumber as they awaken from a bad dream. Nor will any dogs be pawing you to let them out for midnight toilet time.

Alas, I digressed there a bit, getting back to the drinking an uninterrupted glass of chilled wine. While on conference, definitely not on girls weekends away, drinking of alcoholic beverages – this I keep to a minimum if any at all!!! I tend to get very emotive, hugging every half a minute and repeating stories – so best we keep this to a minimum at a conference. Mind you on this one, I have been suffering from an extremely sore neck (degeneration of the neck bone!) and as winter settles in it’s a tad more painful – so there I was sitting being the brave warrior as we partook in an evening of Sip and paint – halfway through I figured to the angel sitting on my right shoulder; perhaps that’s exactly the “tonic” I need to loosen this old neck of mine? So, the funniest was up till then I was extremely quiet, I suppose you could even say reserved. My neck was sore, and it was the first day of conference, we arrive from the airport and head straight for the conference room. It is a very busy time – lots to discuss, learn and share so I do believe after waking pretty early, as we usually on the first flight to arrive at conference timeously, we are all pretty tired that first night. Me included, that was until I took a trillion sips of my wine – didn’t the chitty chatty, hugging and repeative version of dearest me enter the room! Not to mention Michelangelo that completed my water colour painting I was working on – a forest of trees.

Another interesting point (on my side dear reader) why is it we find it necessary to eat a truly, truly huge breakfast when away?  My Daily routine at home I have a coffee, THAT’S IT!

Nothing till dinner generally, on conference 10am I am salivating for the cream cakes, muffins, croissants and such – why? Then comes lunchtime – a meal that would suffice for a dinner – and we scoff it down! And then it’s another teatime and wait it’s not finished – a huge dinner followed by dessert.

So, after all the totally unnecessary eating I have done, how amazing, truly amazing is it, waking in your king size “died and gone to heaven” bed. What is it about the beds in hotels? Their linen, duvets, blankets and pillows! Add to that – the mattress! Oh, my giddy aunt where are they made? My guess is La La Land heaven and then waking and having the bathroom to yourself, not having to be last in the line and endure another cold shower! Bliss – pure bliss add to that – taking as long as you want in that bathroom.

So, let’s step back – when you receive the mail/phone call inviting you to conference/girls weekend away. Not too sure how you react, but dearest reader I will always, yip always downplay it. And who taught me this? My dearest, darling husband, throughout the years whenever he has had a business trip (90% of the time they international trips!!!) I know right! He broaches the subject but always with plenty sighs interspersed in-between the news. “ah babe (first sigh!!) Today I was informed (second sigh) I have to go on a business trip (sigh!sigh!sigh!) and then wait for it ….here comes the best part:“it really is the last thing I feel like right now!” so when its my turn, guess who follows his lead😊. When in fact I am quietly visualizing me flick flacking across the runway to the plane! 😊

In the early days I do need to confess I found it quite daunting having to travel alone. I know – even checking in for my flight I would break into a sweat (and I wasn’t anywhere near menopause then!) Mind you, these days what with our cellular devices its so easy to do all that  and don’t the airlines spoon feed you – so all is good there😊 but how wonderful is it to just be worried about YOU! No additional baggage to worry about. Not having to constantly check if Chloe or Jack still have their comfy blankie or have forgotten Thumper on the bench at the boarding gates. Nope just gather my goods and off I hop, skip and jump to boarding. Bliss! My biggest concern, remembering to take my motion sick tablet an hour before takeoff. Interesting coming back from conference – I was sitting about to board when it suddenly dawned on me – yikes I hadn’t taken the tablet!!! I panicked as I unsettled every department in my bag looking for the blady tablet. I was fine on that flight. I did wonder, is it perhaps psychosomatic? I did find and take the tablet though, so hmm?

Wrapping up this article, am I alone or do all you ladies out there look forward to an invite – a brief respite from the 24/7 of home? Absolutely there is no place like home, and after been away there is no better feeling than walking through the front door, hearing those happy voices welcoming you home and those gorgeous smiles as they wrap their arms around you. After a long day in the conference room, as I open my hotel room door, and firstly breath in that greatness of seeing your bed is made, your room is tidied, all refreshments have been replaced, and none of this was done by me, I always holler out to anyone listening : “Honey I am home” – and yip when you walk through your front door of your home – there is no better feeling than HOME!

But in saying that, there is nothing better than ME time, chicken soup for our souls albeit because of conference/wineclub/bookclub or girls retreat! As you walk through that door, how crazy is it, in fact It probably subconsciously enters your mind as you step on the plane, or as you and your girlfriends traverse on the highway bound for home.  “What will I make for dinner tonight” I wonder if Chloe’s blankie needs a wash? I hope Suzy did well in her oral and what level of reading is she on now?”

So next time you asked to join the girls, or conference comes a knocking – embrace it dear reader – wallow in the ME time!

Till next time this is all she wrote, stay well and warm and remember be kind you yourself, ALWAYS.

What an amazingly, awesome, gob smacking 60^th weekend I had …. yip HAD over a month ago I know! However, 😊 I feel sooooo strongly that I want to share with you my amazing 60th!! First and foremost, thank you for the messages from far and wide! For those of you that were there for my amazing High Tea at the Beverley Hills – you rocked the theme! Your company and contribution to the laughs, love and living was amazing! THANK YOU! As cheesy as this is going to sound, I was blown away by the love that was shown to me! Oh, my giddy aunt this is the kind of occasion when you really wish you could capture it in a beautiful jar and each time you have a Debbie Downer – you just unscrew that gorgeous bottle and let the laughter, love and amazing vibe take you back to that precious moment. Just like when the sun slowly stretches its way across the floor, similar to a can of yellow paint paint spilt, it oozes warmth into a chilly winters room. Or like sunshine on your shoulders! Yip I am sure you get my drift😊

My sister – love you gazillions Karen!

 Thank you too to my dearest precious sister and daughter in law for organizing such an unforgettable afternoon. For all the behind scenes you both endured to make this special occasion a reality and Karen’s daughter in law Bianca for being the official photographer.  At this point I do truly, truly feel a HUGE need to make special mention of “Love the twins” Angela and Gail! I am beyond blessed to have you in my life – and after all these years too!! Going back to school days do us three! You both truly are chicken soup for the souls – each and every one who was there adored – truly adored you! Not to mention my endless spoils – oh my hat – you girls are invited anytime – I mean annnnnyyyyytime! Wow wow wow!! Two bottles of the best of the best champers – yip – not one …… two!!! For those of you thinking “wait a minute I have had a drink or two with Dizabeth of late and there sure wasn’t any of that fancy champers on offer and and and she has two bottles” – I am afraid you are right – that champers is for yours truly only and for an extremely special occasion indeed! And if a special occasion doesn’t present itself sooner than soon – well then dear reader guess Dizz will run a hot, deep bubbly bubble bath, light some candles – get the ice bucket dusted off and lock the bathroom door as she indulges in her truly fancy ass’d champers that she was gifted from “love the Twins”. 😊

On` Sunday my sister (yip her again – isn’t she a keeper! Hmmmmm Jodi Picoult – MySisters’ Keeper) she was adamant we celebrate a pre Mother’s Day – her story which she was definitely sticking to was the fact that all the kids were busy on Mothers actual day – so Sunday we would have a pre Moms day lunch. Hundred percent I agreed, she was really, really emphatic it would be on the Sunday – I didn’t have a sark with this at all. AND dear reader …..neither did I have a cooking clue! As we turned into the driveway, I noticed all the pink balloons – and the Happy Birthday signs – oh my flippen giddy aunt – it was for me!!!! I was and still am beyond touched – after all she had already done for the high tea – and here she was again – thanks my dearest darling sis. It truly was a wonderful surprise – I kid you not dear reader not for a frikken minute did I even think it was about me – so yip what a truly, truly special weekend it was – and if I say so myself, all in honour of Dizabeth! I was most impressed even my dear old brother-in-law had a hand in the special day – he cooked the lunch. Now bear in mind he is a French Mauritian – yip – you do understand! It was delish – delectable – yummy yummo! So, lots of good laughs, love and living flowed again, the family all together it was a fantastic day. We wrapped up as the kids still had to head home (New Hanover) I had had a few glasses of vino (of course I had – this is Dizabeth after all!!!) we helped the kids pack their car, dogs (3 of them!) kids, kids’ stuff, baby stuff and themselves and off the drove. We waved them off enthusiastically as they headed out the drive, the end of a wonderful weekend. As Dizabeth waved them off she sighed contentedly thinking how stunning her pre birthday had been how could she ever forget the love!

My precious specials

She awoke on that Monday – that Monday was rainy cold and as she stretched and yawned she thought – Hey Hey today you are 60 old duck (no, that’s a fib she never thought old duck 😊she actually didn’t think anything because she doesn’t really think about herself unless she is in front of a mirror and notices her frikken turkey neck☹) she showered and got the day started as per any normal day – she couldn’t quite put her finger on it – but the house was quiet! (Geez Louise, this is sounding like an Angela Lansbury ‘Murder she wrote’ episode!). So, as I was saying, I went about my business, I was meeting my friend for a birthday treat and breakfast, so as I gathered my bag and keys I suddenly thought – wait a minute!!! That’s why it’s so quiet! My cellular devise wasn’t around. No bother I figured it’s probably entangled in the bed sheets – or in my bag – or in my coat pocket – or in the car – or???  Oh, my frikken heck!!!!! The last time I had it – was in the kids car!! Sure, as nuts Gary phoned (and again as sure as nuts – Dizabeth’s cellular device was in blady New Hanover!!!!) I know dear reader – on her birthday nogal – she was cellular-LESS!

Now this was an interesting occurrence, not that I am totally dependent on my cellular device.  I went through a phase when it was pretty much a part of my body, then you know how they say it’s addictive and you watch snippets here and there and it stipulates how bad the phone really is for you, and that we don’t use it as it was originally produced for – as a phone – simply a phone – and on top of that – each time Gary happened to glance my way (which ifact isn’t often so I guess that also says perhaps I was a tad addicted) he would comment “are you on your blady phone again” so I kind of weaned myself off it . …. BUT now ….. Let’s take into consideration the reason why we all have a cellular, what is its purpose? Correct, a phone – so people can contact you!!! On dearest Dizabeth’s 60^th birthday this was not the case! I cannot recall a time when I was phoneless, it was a strange, even bizarre feeling. Because let’s be honest thanks to cellular and social media these days we are so in touch with the inside and outside world, with friends and family right next door, or oceans apart, at the touch of a button we can chat to them. And how do we do this – yip with that little ringing box that lights up when it rings, it mimics a Fish Eagle, a Barn Owl or perhaps a baby laughing or perhaps just the regular ring tone of a phone but it rings none the less! Unless of course you left it somewhere and its not attached to you! An interesting test of truth occurred as well! I received an email, nope dear reader this wasn’t an everyday email – it was in fact from our big boss. I am talking the Bigger than the big boss – yip you get my drift!! He had what’s app’d me birthday wishes – and since I had not replied as I usually do (Of course – this is after all the bigger than big boss!) he was concerned as to why I was not replying! So didn’t dearest Dizabeth find herself in a dilemma, does she tell a little white fib regarding why she didn’t have her phone and the fact that it was over a period of a couple of days, bear in mind our phones are quite a big part of our everyday working day. Yip, you see where I am going with this dear reader! Tricky, tricker TRICKEST – Agreed? I pondered how I could reply, eventually I thought there isn’t anything more refreshing than the truth – so that’s what I went with! And yip dear reader, I even admitted to the bigger than big boss – that I had considered a little white f,ib!!

Another first for me on my 60^th birthday – now I have no doubt I am going to shock a few of you. Dizabeth does have some odd quirks, and this is one of them! I don’t – not ever and never, ever – EVER – never will I drive someone else’s car – and to add to that – don’t ask, don’t even contemplate asking me to drive a ‘big’ car – always driven little cars – so, so, so after my fantastic 60^th Michelle who had driven us hopped into the drivers seat and little Ian decided nope he had shared his Mama bear the whole, and I mean he most definitely had shared her the WHOLE afternoon with all Nans friends it was now time for him! He began to holler, and then holler and holler some more!!!

So, guess who did her first drive home, in someone else car, on dark – actually even darker than normal roads thanks to blady shedding the load! Oh, my word, I can tell you one definite thing as I commence my 60^th year on this planet, Dizabeth most certainly isn’t the world’s best night driver! I am damn sure my passengers quietly prayed, in fact begged for their lives under their breath as I tried unsuccessfully to dodge blady craters never mind potholes on the highways and byways of Durban! On my giddy aunt our roads are bad – I am never one to get political but for shits’ sake where is the blady pride! Who dear reader – turning my attention to Durban readers now – readers I invite you to take a drive through town – I know! I know – huge and dodgy ask, but I truly implore you to take a trip – I bet you anything it will most definitely be a first sighting for you EVER! There is a blady tree, in fact its flourishing as it took its roots a decade (or two ago I presume) and it is firmly and happily growing out the City Hall clock – yip I kid you not – high up there in the skies of the clock tower there it grows! (sigh! Blady SIGH!)  And on that note – my time is up – this dear reader is all she wrote for now 😊 Take care, stay well and warm. Thanks for loving my blog the way you do.

Mwah mwah

PS: I hear you pondering to yourself dear reader, why did she title this detoxing …what was she detoxing from??? My cellular dear reader – my cellular on my blady birthday of all blady days. 😊

A leaf I found on the beach on the seashore.

So, a heads up before you brew your favourite coffee, be warned – this blog entry could be Capital B for boring as it’s more of an “info blog” …..so do you brew that coffee or skip the read????

And just like that Easter is over! What happened to March, February, and January? Now we are back to another working week after a wonderful Easter. I am super proud of myself; I did not succumb to hot cross buns this year! Even when they were on “special.” Last year not so much, and didn’t I start way way, earlier than was necessary with a toasted hot cross bun followed by another the next morning, and then one became two – and that was each day!  So this year I am super proud to say I steered clear of hot cross buns. The marshmallow eggs, I am afraid to say not so much! I enjoy a Sweetie pie, and I really love giving them instead of a birthday card, I truly feel a Sweetie pie says it all (never mind how it’s taste says everything!) you can imagine my absolute sweet joy when I happened upon a box – yip you read correctly, a box of sweetie pie marshmallow eggs. And now I am kidding myself that I will diet. Hmm we all know I will not really. That is until my two boxes (yip! two!!!)  of marshmallow eggs that are residing in the fridge are consumed.

So, as I sit and try settling into the working week, my mind wonders. Why I hear you ask yourself would her mind wonder? Well dear, PASSIONATE Dizabeth Blog Readers earlier in the year, my sister and I decided after all these years of being mom’s and never been brave enough to do “this” – ok so background story;  in January as the year commenced and my sisters daughter emigrated taking with her my sisters precious two grandsons,  we promised ourselves we would visit her – she has emigrated to Mauritius, so we chatted casually about visiting “sometime during the year”.

An amazing sunset (ok, this is from the previous trip 4 years back but hey its still gorgeous!!)

Each day I would receive a mail from Karen on packages to Mauritius, I glanced through then and would reply “hm not bad” and continue with my working day, next day another package mail would pop into my “you have got mail” list, I would glance at it – comment nonchalantly that that wasn’t bad and continue with my working day. This occurred for a week or two, until the morning Karen sent the mail, and the package was too good to simply casually glance at and continue with my working day. We started glancing at the dates and months ahead, the sound of a getaway – and to Mauritius sounded more and more alluring. One of us had to make the decision and Karen took the proverbial bull by the horns – and booked! Our Mauritius holiday had become a reality and we jotted the date we flew on our calendars and got on with the days and weeks leading up to our dream holiday. Before we knew it, we were at the airport checking in! Mauritius is two hours ahead of South Africa, so to say I had jetlag would be a huge exaggeration but it was quite a mindset – I never changed my watch, I guess I was subconsciously continuing with the way life was back in the hood. It’s at times like this, although it was fantastic “sisters are doing it for themselves getaway” one we truly both treasured, it did remind me just how special my little family is too me.  You miss your specials whilst you are idling your leisurely days in the hot hazy lazy tropical sun on a beautiful island.  “What?” I hear whispering to yourself; “Never! Not me” Trust me reader you too would miss your peeps.

What was very interesting on this trip. Four years ago, Gary and I were in Mauritius at a resort, Verandah Palmer. We whizzed in – it was 10pmish after having landed and been collected by our transfer and deposited at our hotel. Awakening to the beauty of the glistening sea, and the gentle yet unbearably hot breeze whispering through the hotel room was amazing. (Sound alluring and romantic enough ….you getting the vibe I am trying to create here my darling readers???)  We only ventured out of the resort twice. Once we went cycling on the Mauritian roads, I most certainly would never hazard that again! And once we hired a tour operator who took us to the most popular tourist sights on the island. Chamarel – the Seven Sands, and Curiosity Corner were great fun, whilst the Deities – they were taller than some of the buildings I have entered in the bigger cities – they were enormous and quite an experience. We bartered (well now that is a white lie as I am not really the bartering type – instead I will quietly think “Yikes that is expensive” as I walk away seeking something else that the grandkids would find wonderful and worth playing with that comes “all the way from the island Nana and grandad visited and didn’t take us with”! Mind you, if I think back, I do need to think, were we grandparents then??? Anyhow no digressions, onward we go…….so, this time Karen and myself, as I mentioned, were visiting her daughter and her little family – so we stayed with them. We were hence part of the everyday life and routine of living in Mauritius. This was truly amazing and quite an experience on many levels. Dropping her two boys off at school each morning, and visiting the supermarkets, and their malls – what an interesting and completely different mindset this was to a resort lifestyle. I was quite impressed with Port Louis, and the big high-rise buildings interspersed with Religion and old world. They even have highways and byways!!! I know and there I was thinking it was just beach, beach and sea!! Need to mention at this point – they also have KFC, McDonalds, and Burger King! The interesting point – there are so many really high-rise buildings that are empty. These are apparently because of disputes between builders and landowners.

 This little family – like many families on the islands is fairly new on the island and still feeling their way. However, it is interesting how different life is there to life here. The children all are at private schools, the school her boys are at consists of a series of houses that are in the neighborhood and together they comprise of the school, from grade 0 to grade 12. The principal (owner) of this school is an ex-pat, as are the majority of the families we met and socialized with. The children’s school day is opposite to a school day back ‘home’ in South Africa on many levels, there is no sport for one. When you consider how sport to the average South African is a large part of our lives (I would fit in there perfectly, as all I do is couch potato with Netflix/DSTV and and and!)

 As it was just before the Easter weekend, interestingly this also is not as celebrated as it is here in SA. Yes, it is acknowledged, and the school had an ‘Easter’ concert for the parents which was very cute but at the same time – the content of the concert was far removed from Easter as we know it.  One thing that the family finds quite frustrating, each day if there is even a “hint’ of rain on the island – school is canceled. For the first term in their reports, it states that the boys were ‘absent’ 11 days – when in fact school had been canceled. Yes, there had been a tornado recently which I am quite sure was a hairy experience but an average rainy day – and the island shuts down! What truly blew my mind was just how many South Africans there are living on the island. Waiting for the kiddies to come out of school the banter between the moms – if you closed your eyes, shut out the intense, truly revoltingly intense heat of the day, and didn’t take into account all the parents are standing around in slops, shorts, and tees – well you would well and truly not be wrong in assuming you are in  Ballito or Umhlanga, definitely NOT Durban there is no poops floating around their seas!!! Interestingly the common language amongst the moms is not Creole or even French but good old Afrikaans!  Once whilst in the local supermarket Tracy bumped into newly made friends, when we walked away, she explained they were from Nelspruit, oh my word – how I had to hold myself back from not running after them and asking for a good old Nellies hug!

Port Louis market trying a Bubble tea for the first time ever ….I know I know but yip it was a first for me! (erm like my Murkoo/Murku!!!)

As I am typing this, a helicopter is flying above me, and looking up I recognize it as the police helicopter, of course, I immediately feel unsettled and say a little prayer that nothing untoward is occurring in the hood. It reminds me of the sound of helicopters in Mauritius – a very common sound that fills each day – the difference there is – you know its tourists surveying the island from the skies. Perhaps it was because we were guests that Tracy packed a heb-cooler majority of the evenings, and we waddled down to the local beach (yip, dear reader within walking distance of their home) and we took trillions (well I did, typically me – each night I would literally take trillions of photos of the setting sun – but I guess let’s be honest – each sunset is truly a magnificent painting and no two are really the same (or are they???)

Not so much Karen, but definitely me!!  I packed for Perth, Paris, and then of course Mauritius. Where I did impress myself, the first time I have ever, truly ever been away and only packed one cardigan, and yes as I was leaving for the airport, I must confess I did rush in and grab a light anorak, and did I need any of these! Indeed, that is a big NO! But of all the dresses, shorts, and tops I took, well only a fraction of them actually saw Mauritius the rest alas never left the suitcase. What I will certainly pack more of next time is swimsuits! I took two, one of which was a two-piece and I inadvertently never packed the bottom! So I had one – lucky for me Karen had bought a surplus thanks to the sales and she kindly gave me one (to me it is absolutely beautiful – thanks my darling sis, I think I look deeevvvvvine in it too, sorry for the rest of the beachgoers who may completely different when they lay their weary eyes on me waddling down the beach)  I never thought I would ever get sick of wearing a swimsuit, let me tell you, dear reader, the second to last day I was totally over swimsuits, towels, sunscreen, and slops!  Oh, and hats!

Adjusting to Mauritian cuisine is an interesting topic not to mention the cost of groceries and the cost of living! Oh, my giddy aunt, meat is a definite no-no for every night – well that is if you living life on my wage! There is a fair amount of “unique” (is a word that springs to mind!)  tastes there. Lots of “Chinese” that isn’t really Chinese (well in my humble opinion) there is a pancake type thing in a sauce, which at first bite I was a bit like “hmmm not sure” and by the last bit I was “Yummy!Yummy!” it was called Dahlpori. An interesting snack I “discovered” instead of crisps (chips as ie Simba) there is a crumbly “stick” that is incredibly tasty. I was soon addicted and just had, had HAD to buy some before we left the island. I would go on and on and on (as only I can!!!) about this delicious snack. Each time no one actually said anything but they did give me squiff looks. Eventually one of the family decided “enough is enough let’s address this elephant in the room!!! In this case, it wasn’t an elephant – the snack is called Murkoo (or spelt Murku)…… since I was going on and on about it – they had all thought I was teasing them about this amazing snack. Turns out Murkoo/Murku is readily available in SA! In fact, when I looked closer at the packaging, it actually has the Proudly SA flag logo on it!!!! I know right! and there I had bought heaps and heaps of it as gifts for my specials back home!!!! (Yip isn’t that typically Dizabeth’s luck!!) The really nice thing about the cuisine lifestyle of the island, there are lots of chickpeas, veggies – but by veggies, I am meaning not the usual vegs. Another major no, no – if you living the life of me – wine! There is an abundance of South African wines but at a truly exorbitant price! Oh my word, I usually drink SKINNY or Woolies white Light, but a bottle here costs me approximately R60 that exact bottle on the island would set me back R350 – if I recall it was about six hundred rupees! I began to really question my living wage that is until we were at the airport and shopping at Duty-Free and we got chatting with fellow South Africans who were in the same position as us. Really, really keen to buy that little fluffy dodo for the grandkids but at “that” price – really? Especially if you consider the Dodo is extinct now anyhow! I did buy the cutest little stuffed toy that Tide named him (okay, if I am honest I did) Steve the Stingray and I couldn’t help myself, for me I bought Shaun the Sheep keyring. Those were 11 and 7 Euros. Another dead giveaway you South African, you are CONSTANTLY on your cellphone calculator!

We visited some incredible beaches and had some really great family time. Thanks to all the family for your kindness. Each morning Karen and I would awaken make a cuppa and waddle down to the beach to watch the sunrise and chat. That is one thing we always do, whether we haven’t seen each other in forever or have been inseparable for days on end – we always have something to chat about! One thing you definitely DON’T do in Mauritius – is order takeaway coffee, oh my giddy aunt it is capital R for Reeeeevolting!!!! And it is about 200 rupees!

Although the journey there and back were two totally different experiences – they were both great. I cannot say I “caught up” on my movies on board as you all know I am the world’s biggest couch potato when it comes to TV/Movies and Netflix, yet both ways I still found a lovely movie to bide the time till we reached our destination. One was Helen Mirren’s “The Good Liar” and homeward bound shucks I can’t recall now, ah yes I was going to say it was Susan Sarandon but it was in fact Diane Lane in The Good House. When we arrived back in Sunny South Africa we raced to Wimpy for a Wimpy coffee – yummo! I never thought they were that great before our trip – and now Wimpy, you have my respect!

 On the last leg of the journey as our hubby’s eagerly (well I would like to think they eagerly awaited us to enter the airport from arrivals) Karen and I truly didn’t recognize our own luggage! Yip dear reader I kid you not. Karen picked her luggage up – I would question whether it in fact was hers …she would return it to the carousel and around and around the case went until we were the last travelers and that lonesome case was the last case and we figured it has to belong to her!! Right there we had another belly laugh – what an amazing time it was.

The three hottest girls on the island 😊😊😊

At the end of the day with all the rands and SENSE we spent, it was truly a magnificent sisters are doing it for themselves holiday. I am trying to convince my sister next up – LONDON!! From cozzis to coats!

And on that note dear readers for now this is all she wrote. Take care, be blessed and always be kind to yourself. Thanks for loving my blog as much as you do.

And YAY YAY YAAYYEST I can feel a winter chill creeping in!!! HAPPY HAPPIER HAPPIEST Dance ever!

Mwah Mwah

This week’s title is thanks to one of my oldest (no, no NO dear reader not in age – in as many years we been friends – in fact she was my boss once a upon a star!!!!) and dearest friends, Mausie, you are so correct, it sure is “all written in the stars” love you lots Mausie.

Love you to beyond the stars and moon and back dearest Maureen Kok!

 Who – or is it just me, I recall when I was a young girl, my mom, it would irritate me beyond, always saying how “time is flying” – well isn’t this old duck saying the exact thing these days. Every time I bump into someone, they get the “My how time is flying” routine!!! And the thing is, even the youngsters are saying it!! How uncool is that? So, as you can see from the title of this blog – Chad has become a UK citizen – well working toward it in the next 5 years – to have that “Indefinite leave to remain” status. And life has continued for me. That heart break that I had booked therapy sessions for – they weren’t necessary – I have survived – if I am honest as I knew I would. But its just that thought – that emptiness that as a mom we anticipate. Especially me – drama queen of note!

I had a work appointment for the day Chad was due to fly. I “warned” the lady I would be meeting with that I would be “bleak” as I would have just returned from the airport after saying farewell to my son. “Oh no she replied we definitely can meet the day after” – so we duly did! And what did dearest Dizabeth do? I arrived introduced myself, and she asked, “How is your heart was feeling?” well didn’t Dizabeth stand staring at her, an extremely vague, questionable look on my face! She confusedly preempted me – “your son – he was flying yesterday” …..”Oh…….”I replied nonchalantly “you know he has been out of the home for nine years, what with Uni, and living in Cape Town …….” Now at this stage she really looked confused (waaay more than I was!!!) she didn’t say it but I am sure as sure she wanted to say well then what the heck was the dramatic email about yesterday???

Funny a bit of random add on at this point of the story, I was at the school, and do you know how many times this has occurred to me since I have been back! So, the meeting was finished, I was walking out the school, a dad was entering and explained he was coming to fetch his child earlier as they were off to Pretoria. In my mind I chitter chatted to dearest Dizabeth – she agreed – he was being quite a drama dad (yip you see how Dizabeth recognizes a “drama dude” instantly – yip – coz she is one herself!) anyhow, as I was saying I said to Dizabeth “this dad is really being a drama dad – phhhst going to Pretoria, it is only 3 hours away” – then it dawned on me – I was doing it again!!! Thinking I am in Nelspruit – and yes then it would indeed be a three hour journey. I cannot tell you just how many times dear reader dearest Dizabeth thinks she is still in the Nellies hood! Hmmmm maybe as I have raised the concern before, early Alzheimer’s creeping in??? Although in my defense, since the whole “E. coli debacle” I don’t frequent the beach as often as I had promised myself I would, for obvious reasons! So I guess living “inland” and not seeing the sea everyday – it is understandable that this old dear at times imagines she is still back in the Nellies hood! Land locked and all.

Talking different provinces, you know what I have found amusing. Driving. Often I will be over taken and the driver has such a look of disdain or aggravation on their face. I think “wtf?” as I am truly tempted to wave and smile in return, its then that I twig!! My registration number, its MP. Now I would be lying if I didn’t reveal in the past, (so in Nellies)  I myself have done that exact thing. In Nellies, again for obvious reasons, there were always plenty of GP/ND/EC okay so you get my drift! Number plates from other Southern Africa provinces! Either crawling along at a snails pace, or flashing their lights and warning me to move out their path before the mowed me out the way! Ok, Ok yip I also do it (shhhhh don’t tell Gary its he’s worst) but the funniest for me – being back in the KZN region, I am acutely aware of how the KZNers cant stand the “Vaalies” which, yip dear reader includes the MP plates” so don’t I suddenly adhere to their way of driving – cant wait to change that blady number plate and be able to show a finger or two! But for now, I shall smile and wave as I give way to them (sigh sigh).

I have mentioned this before I am damn sure (unsureness again as we ponder about early Alzheimer’s) but TIMING! How our lives are truly – well and truly I believe all planned ahead of time. Recently I met a friend for coffee, we had finished our coffee. She went on her merry way (well, I think it was her merry way,  after all she had just been with Dizabeth?) I decided to pop in at a jeweler, it was a random last-minute decision. And in that jeweler was a friend, a very dear friend that I have made arrangements with to meet up since being back and due to life we had to delay it – and this particular day she had time on her hands. We had an awesome catch up. A reason, a season a lifetime time …..and all that – it fascinates me! At that particular time you are both in the same place at the same time and you meet! Timing indeed! I recall years, years, yeeeeeeeeeeaaaars ago, we had just arrived in Nellies, it was the days where I used to phone home (Durban) every frikken night, and the poor recipient each night would be clueless  as to what I was talking about as I just sobbed and sobbed!! I know! And not to mention my exorbitant cell phone accounts – all for me to just cry! Anyhow as you all know I soon settled (hmmmmm I wouldn’t say “soon”, it was probably about three-ish years before I felt totally happy and homey”) anyhow, this particular day the garden service was there for the first time. Our garden – who watches “The last of us” currently on Mnet??? Brilliant I know! But our garden resembled those times, grass as tall as me – and monsters lurking in them tall grasses! So I had popped in home – I was running some errands …. oh that’s it – just recalled, I was dropping Chad off at home from school pick up and asked him to run in and tell the maid I was waiting in the car to drop her at the bus stop. So he comes racing back with such excitement and true gob smacked tone in his voice “Ma, you have to come and see the pool, all the grass is floating on the top, you cannot even see the pool bottom” on and on he went, yip, you gathered he was way, way, younger than he is now. In fact he was in standard one, so shucks I think about seven? Anyhow on and on he went – not relenting at all. So (I cannot lie, I was stomping through the house resembling a baby elephant – yip I was that irritated!) when something caught my eye. Something that was long, very long, slithery and extremely dangerous! It was a Mozambican spitting cobra that had been residing in our “The last of us” garden until the grass cutter had arrived a few seconds before! Now, after all this – my point, once again. Timing! Imagine for a second dear reader if I had not at that particular time arrived home, Chad had not raced to see the pool and called me!! That slithery snake could have caused unimaginable trauma and tragedy for the new Durbs mom and her family that were brand new to Nelspruit. I saw him slithering in the kitchen, if I hadn’t seen him he could have made his way into the boys room, and and and …..  We soon learnt that there are some truly scary snakes that also call Nelspruit home.

And on that note, I think its “time” to wrap up this blog – it’s all she wrote for now.

Thanks to all of you – even though I don’t publish as frequently as I should, for those of you still flying the flag and loving Dizabeth’s blog as much as you do – I salute you – and promise you – I will always, always make “time” to write my blogs for you lot.

So till next “time”; take care and always be kind to you.

Mwah mwah

Foot note:

Yip! It’s taken me a month since I last posted. BUT before you settle with this months/weeks/or just another blog, please be advised, this one was written back in the days of Nellies, so it isn’t an update of news here ….so now that I have cleared up that little fact, sit back and enjoy.

I was first in line at the robot the other day. There was a beggar standing waving at me. I sat there pretending I was looking at the most fascinating object way ahead of me and was so focused on that, that I actually wasn’t seeing her – in reality I clearly was very obviously seeing her and was feeling incredibly awkward. I have learnt from past experience though whatever you do, ensure you don’t reach down for your bag (if you live in South Africa – your bag shouldn’t even be in the blady car but in the boot, mines ALWAYS in the car!) but anyhow, you ensure you don’t reach into the cubbyhole, change the CD or the volume on your radio in the event they (beggar) thinks you’re reaching for a coin. I had a “Gogo” she was old and so festive I would always give her a rand, once I had just been grocery shopping and gave her my bread. Then on the other corner – we have this guy – long tall, swaying like a palm – he stands there quite passionately every day to collect as much as he possibly can for a beer or 12! I am seriously not being disrespectful when I call him Palm guy. He literally at the end of the day is swaying. He has conveniently set up within walking (staggering) distance of the bottle store. Now this Mr. Palm, oh my giddy aunt can he get abusive should you not give him money! So, in his circumstance -I most definitely do not feel at all awkward. In fact, I make a point of turning the volume up then down then medium, leave the volume button to reach back and change the volume again – I reach down – pick up my bag – open said bag – and take out my brush. So, I had a situation a few days back. I was in the SPAR, and I wanted to buy a slab of Cadbury (nope – for me dear reader, for me☹) the first sign from the Universe was I couldn’t reach it – too blady short. I tried my tippy toes (yip I was adamant to get this slab!) no luck – it was at that exact moment as I pondered what my next move could be that I spotted a really, tall guy walking past! “Sorry I said, can I ask you a favour” and so I acquired my chocolate! BUT that is not where it ended dear reader – he as quick as a flash replied “Can I ask you a favour” to which I obviously replied “sure” after all he had just rescued me from not being able to have a sugar rush! He wanted a loaf of bread, eggs (nope not 6 – but 48) and a 6 pack of long-life milk. I was a bit irritated; I would be lying to say I wasn’t. But what had he done (I guess what I had done to myself) I had created an awkward situation! So, I said ok, well go get the bread and I will meet you at the eggs. It was at this point a SPAR employee walking past said, “he is conning you – he will go and sell these groceries at the bus stop” – well, when tall guy returned, I blurted out “are you going to sell all these at the bus stop?” – his reply and expression told me he was! So, I didn’t buy the eggs and milk – since I had already got the bread, I figured let me pay for that – but I sure won’t be taken again. Years ago, there was a young (rough looking) man who walked around the supermarket and used to say he wasn’t looking for money – he had a baby at home and needed formula and nappies. Well of course as a mom – you don’t hesitate to help him. Gary had seen him a couple of times before, so we decided to follow him. Sure, as nuts – he took the goodies and headed for the bus stop and yip he sold them! Reminds me of a situation when we still lived in Durban. I went to fetch the kids from school and walking forlornly along the pavement was a little kid crying – he was in a school uniform – being a mom you ask if he is lost what can you do to help? He told me he had lost his bus fare – I gave him the bus fare. A few weeks later I was at work and my colleague came back from fetching her kids (same school my kids were at) – she was distraught. She told us about the kid who was crying, and he had lost his bus fare. Yip – con artist of note – the thing about this is – it puts one in an awkward situation – you will never trust again – and when that person that really lost their bus fare comes and asks you like “yeah right! not on your Nelly….”!

What about the awkwardness when someone asks if you keen to join them for a coffee/braai/lunch/dinner and you most certainly are not! But you accept – of course you do (if you me!) and then think of all the reasons you can come up with to cancel! (Nope its none of you – trust me you would know if it was!!!) My worst – I have mentioned this in a previous blog. When someone calls me by the incorrect name! Popular ones are Sue or Linda. I feel too blady awkward to say – its Liz – so for the rest of time to that person I am Sue/Linda. What is awkward is when you with another person and you see that person who is having a long chitty chat catch up to Sue/Linda and you can see the person with you is thinking WTF? I recall Chad and I were getting him a Peanut bomb from Kauai – a lady (complete stranger) walked in and was delighted, beyond delighted to see me. She asked, “how are the girls, how is so and so and when last did you see that one” and, on and on she went. When she finally left (it literally was about fifteen minutes) Chad asked who she was – I replied I have no idea my love! He was horrified – “Mom why didn’t you just tell her you got the wrong person?” I felt too …. yip you guessed ….awkward!

Another situation, when you in an “awkward” situation – when the Uber driver picks you up – me being typically me – I cannot just shut up I need to chat – so am asking what he does (obvious Dizabeth he is an Uber driver!) how does his wife feel about him being an uber driver. That’s when he says I am not married ….argh  or worse – your car goes in for a service, they give you a lift home – in your own blady car NOGAL ….and they DRIVE !!!!! What’s with that??

Be honest now, how many times – or is it just me – you are walking in the mall and there is a cardboard cutout and you know you know them! You definitely know that person (they usually always a sports person advertising some energy boost or some such, so of course you know them!) you approach them – smiling and ready for a catch up when you realise (if you lucky you notice) that it’s actually a cardboard cutout!

I recall my sister – we were both teens and in the CNA. Some woman was reading a magazine (Gosh remember how loads of peeps used to do that!) and she asked me “isn’t that Terri” – okay so we could only see the back of “Terri” – “yip” it is I replied confidently. You sure she checked – yip I replied – so she went up behind this woman and in a gruff voice said, “and what are you doing here?” well as you have no doubt realized it wasn’t Terri. Oh, my word I could hardly breath I laughed sooo much! What about when you tell a joke, and the recipient doesn’t get it – or worse! When you forget the end of the blady joke! Ah I remember YEARS ago ….. there was this joke about Henry Kissenger…. So you go “and so Henry, Henry ahhhhh um … Henry???” and you waiting for someone to say his surname ….. and my luck – I had the whole nation standing listening to the joke and no one knew his surname – so someone said “never mind just carry on with the joke” …. Well didn’t that joke go down like a lead balloon!

It’s just as bad when you wave at someone – and it’s the wrong person. Now, do you know how many times I have found myself in that predicament. And don’t I always pretend – no not you the person behind you – erm not!!!

What about when you “butt dial” and that person rings you back – sooooo enthusiastically for a catch-up chat and you so not in the mood – hmmmm or not even necessarily anything to do with your mood – you in fact don’t know that person well enough that you would even give them a call in the first place.  Now, I hear you saying then why the heck is that person in your contacts! So, here’s a thing – take a look through your contacts. How many of the names do you recognize immediately – yip we all have a few in our contacts – be honest.  That time you ordered that cake, and you saved their number to collect it – or a friend of a friend who you needed to chat to that once.

I adore my grandson, he is part of our tribe and he is right up there with my two boys. He is my everything. Now saying this, I have never really been a “baby person” obviously besides my baby boys I never really am drawn to a newborn baby, as in desperate to hold and ‘ohh and ahh’ over. Just isn’t me – so when someone starts pushing their baby on me it’s awkward. Let’s be honest 99% of woman do love to oh and ah a baby. So, for this very reason I do feel a bit yikes – I know! Dizabeth Right! I am a HUGE Ricky Gervais fan – if you are too and you havnt seen Humanity – Ricky shares his experience of when this exact situation occurs …its brilliant – check it out.

PS: Another footnote here: we welcomed our second grandson, Ian on 22^nd February, I adore him and do enjoy cuddling him, I reckon for me its  family thing, not so much when the little one is not a family babe. Would rather be cuddling my glass of vino if I am honest. I know, I know I hear some of you tut tut tuttering to yourself.

Last week I bumped into an old friend, we were both at a really super cool, newly discovered coffee Gary and I)  with our hubby’s, I said hello to her, we chatted, chatted and then chatted some more, when out the blue she asked us to join them – without batting an eye I answered “No thanks we good” to which she replied quite indignantly  – “So, I haven’t seen you in years, we have so much to catch up on and you don’t want to sit with us?” – yip you guessed, awkward.

And saving the best for last!! Last weekend we were in Kruger. Now we all have seen when you approach a hide the SILENT signs that are everywhere! So we in Gardenia Hide, there is another group as well as Gary and myself. Gary is quietly whispering the sound (call) a particular bird is calling – the lady in the other party quietly whispers back what she thinks it is.  Next we hear a single sharp clear ping or beep or maybe the sound made in the wild – everyone looks at one another – puzzlement clear on their faces – dare they even voice their thoughts – what could that have been – I had to hesitantly admit – sorry guys it’s me – I just got a whats app!

And that dear readers – is my thoughts and tales on awkwardness – so for now it’s all she wrote. Thanks for loving my blog the way you do.

Take care. ALWAYS be kind to yourself.

Mwah mwah

“Move to Hillcrest” they said (ok, ok because of work I had to be in this area anyhow, however for dramatic effect let me stick to this!) “move to Hillcrest they said …. Its cool up there, a totally different weather pattern – lovely “bearable” days and cool evenings” they said. Another thing  – why do we always say “they” – who in fact is “they”? Major digression: but food for thought I am sure you agree. So anyhow back to the moving to Hillcrest bit. Ok, so yip they were right about that – it is lovely cool (ish) evenings but the days! WTF? While I “endured” those hot (oven hot) days in Nelspruit I never really sweated, I never had to wipe my brow, I would always remind myself when it got too hot that at least it wasn’t the humidity of Durban. Now, yes at this point my Nellies friends will argue the point and say, “but there is humidity in Nelspruit……” and to that I say “B…llsh.t” I never ever knew the humidity as I am even blady feeling it in blady Hillcrest. But I do need to add here, I started dieting yesterday, so this constant sauna vibe is going well – I swear its like I have been pushed in a pool – I thought Nellies was extreme – come back Nellies – all, I mean ALL is forgiven. This blady heat is frikken ruthless man! RUTHLESS I tell you! As I type, I can feel the sweat running down my back – flippen running isn’t even the word I would use, more like gushing! So, I reckon by day three of my diet I should be good to go – with a tremendous amount of weight lost! So footnote here, today (yip you know I take a month of Sunday’s to write each blog) so today I was truly that hot, I mean that hot when I got home from seeing clients I literally took my shoes off and stepped into the pool. Instant – I mean  I N S T A N T relief! I have always had the logic “nah I would rather go have shower, when it gets that hot” which is what I do, until I arrived home today and said to Chad I am going to shower to which he replied “ma there is no relief like a dip I the pool” so I have renewed faith in pools again! (Thanks Chad)

Anyhow moving along swiftly (gushingly!!) Happy 2023. May it be jam packed with abundant blessings, and please please, let winter hurry up and arrive! Mind you I am sure you all heard about the bizarre weather that occurred during the Festive season in New York and Florida. Perhaps I should ease up on the hurry it up winter vibe and …nah it’s too bizarrely hot here – I do wish upon a star for winter! So how was your end of year break? I hope it was damn fine! As you know we ended the year with a big whammy and moved! Looking back you know as humans (well speaking for myself now!) I am such a stress Sally! Oh my giddy aunt when I look back on the last two months in Nelspruit, and you know, I know, sooner than soon I will forget that I am now lecturing myself, and some issue will get me all riled up, enduring sleepless nights and letting my every waking moment be consumed with whatever it is that is worrying me! But I wish I could capture in a bottle and blady sell the knowledge I now know! What a blady waste of time those worries were, never mind the additional grey strands its added. Although mind you – you know, I always do ponder, “you giving me grey hairs” – really! Isn’t it more genetics – hereditary? Some of my friends (no names mentioned) are younger than me – and even those the same age that I have been friends with since the beginning of time – we all greyed at various stages – I have one or ten strands – but generally my hair is still its mousy brown it has been all my life! So that whole grey hair through worry – debatable!

One thing this move back has really made me ponder about – coincidence – or is that the word you would use. No, it isn’t – damn cannot think of what the word we use is! Anyhow, ok I think its Fate? It has been amazing, right time right place, maybe? I don’t know but when it happens I always think, this thing called life is amazing. To be in the exact same place, at the exact same time and in some instances – in fact in all these that I have recently experienced there always have been plenty people around – and whamo you bump into someone you haven’t seen in forever! Now with lots of friends I do keep in contact, maybe not daily but I do. However, these occasions, well they gob smack me and make my heart fuller than full. The first occasion I was in our new mall, and bumped into an old work colleague, it was wonderful seeing her and we live in neighbouring hoods – you know now I just look back and think years, years ago when I last saw her – I guess I never thought then that it would take so many years before seeing her again and lets face it in some instances we don’t see people we once knew ever again – so this truly fascinates me these times when we do bump into a person after all these years.

The other two incidents, well we in regular contact (what’s app) but obviously me being in Nellies for fifteen years and these specials living in Natal clearly we didn’t bump into each other but sure as nuts – we did! One at Shongweni Market and the other one at the Sharks rugby on old years evening. Do you see where I am going with this – in this big city – if its meant to be – the right time right place and there that special is before you eyes. That is when I do really think – how small is our world. Amazing! So on Tuesday night we went to movies – Chad now – remember he has been in the USA for a year – ok now wait, this could be slightly different hey? So, we at the movies and Chad says hello to a friend. It was not just a casual hello but a high five moment. Sticky beak mom asks who that was – it was a Durban guy who he had never met –  went to USA – Met this guy there – they both finish their time there and what’s the chances hey – yip see what I am saying – we in a blady Mall and whamo they meet up!

Being back in the hood, I must say it is lovely. I cannot lie I miss Nelspruit and those that found a place in my heart BIG TIME! But AGAIN I believe it all happens as it should and we will know one day. How many times in our lives (well certainly in mine) I ask the powers that be, and it doesn’t happen and I am more than a bit peeved. Then down the line you see exactly why it worked out the way it did and not the way I had begged for it to turn out!  So, yip enjoying being back in the hood. I have to have a shout out at this stage for my darling, darling sister. Karen its our time! I adore you. Again dear reader we have always been close, but fifteen years ago we had polar opposite lives. Karen had her kids I had mine but there was quite a gap – so we didn’t really see each other as much as we could/should have. We spoke often and she did visit us often in Nellies and those visits were priceless. BUT you know when you know and its now our time! I cannot wait – its time for us aunts to live for us – to do for us and in all this laughing and living I look forward to many, many memorable fun and belly laugh occasions. I LOVE YOU – TREASURE YOU MY SIS.

And that my dearest darling reader is all she wrote for now – till next blog remember:

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind, rather be led by the dreams in your heart.

Be kind to yourself – I truly hope 2023 is very kind to you, and when she isn’t just smile and know this too shall pass.

Thanks for loving my blog the way you do till next blog, take care.

Mwah mwah