Blog 9 – She did it again and so did they!

This evening I am typing away, tucked in, snug as a bug with a wooly blanket wrapped around my legs, and my very, very, sexy gown and slippers. I am loving winter especially the current winter weather. My absolute best (winter I am meaning).  Crazy if we think back on those days I would laze on the beach (in my undies, kidding, besides that one time ☹) I cannot remember when last, oh wait a minute, it was in January this year! I lay on the beach, ok, no I didn’t “lie” on the beach I sat on a frikken, frizzo, windy Cape Beach whilst Chad, Michael, and Gary scuba dived. It was at Boulders – those seals and penguins too blady cute. I have to confess at my age I have still not learnt and looked like a blady beetroot for the remainder of the trip! But I don’t think I realized just how burnt I was getting because no jokes, that wind was biting cold. Anyhow so this week is a let’s say, part two of last week but with a bit of my darling husband and kids included in the oopsies.

Hello …so yip not sure if you have guessed but it takes me a couple of days to write my weekly (weakly) blog. So tonight I am sitting here, Gary is watching the Lion vs SA …SA 12 Lions 3….I am sitting, of course have my glass of wine the same scenario as the other night, my gown, slippers, blanket (it’s a blood donar one, noooooo nooo don’t be impressed it belongs to Gary) and tonight have added a few extra “fashion” items such as a beanie and fingerless gloves. 

Okay, so where were we when I last signed off? Ah, Part two. So, before we go any further I bloopsed again last night and that made me wonder: We will always have “she did it again” blog! (Ah sigh sigh…as I have said before imagine the poor souls that are living everyday with me and imagine dear ol me!) So last night we were invited to dinner (it was the yummiest oxtail – thank you Lynn and Brett) anyhow, so I said I would bring a dessert. Now, I do believe I have confessed this before, I am a “box baker”. So last night was no exception. I read the box instructions, read them again and Bobs your uncle I created a whizzo Malva pudding. BUT dear reader, here comes the bloops. There were two packets in the box. The first obviously was the actual Malva which I added oil, egg, milk blah blah, whizzed it up in the beater. All good. Then the second packet was the “sauce” it said: add to the mixture, I was like hell no, I bought pouring ready-made custard from Woolies so we are soo good! When it came to dessert, everyone was “wow this is really crispy and not the usual malva moistness, what did you do so differently?” I never thought anything until this morning, tidying my kitchen there was this little packet of “sauce mix” forlornly sitting on the kitchen counter probably needing therapy. Well dear reader that’s what I frikken did so differently!

I am quite excited I have to share. I have signed up for a new Tablet. A Samsung …blah dee blah …I am soooo useless at techno. Anything in the IT department and I am definitely “Thank you and goodbye!”. I remember when Chad was in Grade 11, he was leaving for school and Gary asked if he had his tablet. Oh, my word didn’t I run after them asking why did he need a tablet and why hadn’t he mentioned to me he wasn’t feeling well. Yip you can imagine both their faces, I am pretty sure they were counting their blessings that they were off to work and school for the day.

You know, I have to confess often I see ladies wearing slippers with their day wear. I tend to be a bit “judgy” if I am honest. I think to myself such a nice outfit, and then the slippers, really? The other day I did exactly this, however, this lady jolted my memory big time. When we first moved here, it was July (in fact 9th July we started our 15th year here in Nellies – oh my word if I recall (and so do a few of you, as you were on the receiving side. I used to phone home every night, and lament on and on about how much I wanted to come home, and how much I hated it here, crazy how life is hey? I am so content now). Anyhow so it was July and I saw an article (yip here we go, good ol’ YOU magazine) on their fashion pages, and if that wasn’t enough to seal my decision, there also on the entertainment pages all the movie stars and models were wearing UG boots. And since I was in a  “missing home” state (blatant lie, no excuses ever needed to shop) off I went and bought a pair. I wore them (proudly) everywhere truly being the trendoid I was coming from Durban nogal, I showed these Nelspruiters a thing about fashion. Or did I? After a couple of weeks I noticed they were taking quite a bit of strain, and the soles were falling apart, literally thinning, wearing through the innards spewing out, as the foam from a cushion that has been torn apart by a new puppy would. No one ever said anything, I guess they were oh well she is from the sea and at least she isn’t wearing flip flops. It turned out, they were frikken slippers. I see them every winter on the Woolworths shoe rack, of course, I don’t mention a word these days and I certainly only wear them at night and only at home. Actually, thinking about it now about 8 weeks after we arrived here, my sister came to spend the week with me. It was soon after then that she “surprised” me with a pair of Cape Union slippers. Hmmm now that I think about this, there was a method to her “surprise”. Since I have already laid myself open, I may as well add, I was a huge fan of crocs. Oh yes, dear reader I certainly was. I even bought the little various charms that you could add to your pair.  Mine were blady white as well. I know dreadful! Then, I was doing flick flacks as I entered (yes I really did go as far as entering a competition to win a pair) they were black, red strap at the back and the little (or big) holes were in the shape of Mickey Mouse. In fact, if I recall I actually entered to win them for Chad. When I won and they arrived he was “hell no ma I wouldn’t be seen dead in those!”

Whilst we talking about Chad. He did particularly well in a Math test, and I decided to treat him. Here in Nellies (actually, not so much now, no actually, yes to this day) we are quite starved for restaurant franchises etc., and Kauai had just opened here. So as is the norm. Nelspruiters’ frequented it in their droves. We had ordered him a Peanut Butter smoothie and were sitting at our table when this total stranger walked up and truly, truly she was delighted to see me. “How are you? Sjoe, how long has it been? It has been ages and ages. What’s news, how are the girls? (She went on to even name the two girls which presumably were my daughters) she kept giving Chad a perplexed sideways glance. Of course with each question I answered her: “The girls were great. Yes they had grown so much, and yes, she was correct they were in Uni now”…..blah blah blah …on and on I went.  I swear it was at least fifteen minutes of “catching up”. Maybe it wasn’t that long but it sure felt like it! When she had finally satiated her curiosity she ended by asking me to send my love to the ladies of the book club and off she tootled. Chad casually asked “who was that ma?” to which I replied “I have no idea I have never met her in my life”. Chad was gob-smacked, why hadn’t I just said I am sorry I think you have the wrong person. What’s the bets, the next time she was at book club she shared with the book clubbers “Did you ladies know she has a son, or heaven forbid, is she having an affair with a school boy?”  

Now dear reader, I don’t know why, but to this day, I just cannot. I rather play along. Why? I have no idea.  Have I shared the story of the neighbour? Her name was Linda, she would “coee” over the hedge. “Sue, put your car in the garage there is going to be hail” – “Sue have you seen my cat?” “Sue do you have electricity?” When I met her I said I was Liz …I reckon I must have a Sue face as she isn’t the first and no doubt me being me, she wont be the last who knows me as Sue.  The amazing thing here is, I would be inside and hear her calling “Sue” and out I would be interacting with her. The boys and Gary used to just laugh.

And at that, Gary: well dear readers I do believe we are both getting older. ( Some older than others and at a more rapid rate) these days we both head towards a room with a mission only to wander back at a much slower pace with confusion mapped across our faces. We completely forgot what our mission was and where we were heading. When Chad was still home (so that was at least nearly ..sjoe no cant be …five years ago?) anyhow Gary when he loses it …he loses it! This particular day he had misplaced his glasses. Oh my word, he went on and on about it. I eventually dropped whatever I was doing, yip that’s what you do if you don’t want a major tantrum! I searched high and low and in-between no luck. That is until Chad asked what the drama unfolding was all about, exasperated I explained that dad had mislaid his glasses – to which he replied so nonchantly “dad, you wearing them”. Yip dear reader both of us never even noticed, in our panicked state over a pair of blady glasses. I will not mention the fluttering and fast beating of my heart I have experienced on the numerous occasions I have “lost” my car at the mall.

Whilst we on a roll with Gary, let me relate the time we were at Tala. The boys were still quite young and so we would frequent Tala Game Reserve. But this dear readers was our first visit. Gary has never outwardly admitted to me, however I do believe (from experiences over the past thirty two years) he gets hellish anxious when in new terrain that he isn’t ofay with. So, this day we excitedly exploring the reserve when we get stuck in a puddle of solid mud. Let me add now it was in the early days of cellphones. And I (of course) had one, Gary didn’t “need” one were his words. So, there we are stuck in the mud and Gary starts showing me what I need to do with the bakkie. “you let it idle and then…..” so I asked “Why where are you going?” to which he replied in an extremely irritated tone “Well obviously I am going to have to walk and seek help!!” Ah now dear reader, I did so love the next moment. I ever so causally picked up my bright Game pink brick of a cellphone and dripping in sarcasm asked him “Why don’t we just phone the reception and ask them to bring help?” as I started dialing the number on their brochure. It was on one of these trips too. Gary may be anxious when it comes to unknown territory but Lordy he is not at all scared when it comes to animals (wild included here). For those of you that have been to Tala (well back in the day) there were giraffes

 (Rafes as Tide would say) pumbas, Zebbie Zebras (did you know you call a herd of Zebras – a Dazzle – stunning hey!) wildebeest – you get the idea, lots of game and there were ostriches. One in particular, he even had a name which evades me right now. But he would come up to the car. And of course Croc Dundee who was in our party would have to interact with the animal. This day his gran, Ef, was with us, so I do believe he was showing off even more so and proceeded to get out the car and walk towards the “tame” ostrich. I will never be able to explain – it truly was a case of having to be there to witness this. The ostrich came running with his large wings flapping towards Croc Dundee. Croc Dundee shrunk into more than half the man he stands as – as he tried to protect both the crown jewels and his eyes. Dear reader as I am typing this I am cackling like a frikken drake. Oh my word is was hysterical. Ef got such a fright I do believe she thought that was the last time she would be seeing her grandson alive. Croc Dundee’s wife, well she couldn’t breathe. She was laughing so much. She was busy searching her bag to wipe away the tears.

It was Mr. Croc Dundee, who was also recently blady responsible for getting my precious bottles of wine confiscated. Have I mentioned that truly sad tale? In late December remember Mr. President changed the lockdown level for Old/New years? We flew home from Cape Town on the 1^st January. Yes there is no denying, and yes, we had already paid on the way to Cape Town for my case which was over weight and as any of your ladies will appreciate, clearly after our trip it was definitely going to be over the required baggage weight allowance. So Mr. Croc Dundee refused permission for Mrs. Dundee to place her vino in her case and yip the rest of the story is a truly, tragic, tragic story. They asked me as I “casually” walked through the detector who this bag belonged to. And as much as I tried to woe her and distract her by saying how stunning her hair, wig, shoes, uniform etc. was she replied “Sorrrrrry as she handed the bottles to her colleague, whom I watched  literally in slow motion walk away and toss them in the bin. I can still hear that horrendous sound as they smashed into a million droplets of wasted wine☹.

Before I run off, I do need to share with you the truly silly but typically typical story of Dizabeth and the “runner”. I do believe this is the day Ryan promised himself the day he finished school wasn’t far off. He no doubt told himself to hang in there and keep remembering that soonish he would be able to just hear these stories and not actually witness or God forbid be a part of them. We were driving and passed a lady running. I started to slow the car down, to which Ryan enquired why was I stopping. I passionately replied “Shame boy this lady is obviously going to miss her bus, she is running to the bus lets give her a lift to the bus stop” to which Ryan indignantly replied. “Mom she is exercising, as in running!”

One of Chad’s moments with dearest Mama Bear Dizabeth. Actually, Chad could write a book, probably a mini-series on all the times he has witnessed me bloopsing. So this day, we were at the post office. The teller that was assisting me I could see was pregnant. I asked her when her baby was due. Without batting an eyelid she replied “In December and you?” to which I very quickly replied (in shock) “oh no, I am just fat!”

When we walked out of the post office Chad let out the laughter he was suppressing and wiping away the tears he said “Ah sorry ma”.  He didn’t seem that “sorry” to me 😊.

And with that dear reader we have come to end of this weeks tales.

Thank you for your support, I do apologise for the tardiness of publishing my blog of late. I promise to get back into routine. The family was home and so I was a bit distracted.

Stay well, warm and thanks always for being a part of my life.

Happy week ahead.