Blog 16 – It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

(Thanks for the title, Charlie Boy)

A year ago my sister-in-law and I had a “slight” altercation that changed our lives forever. We both continued our lives as if we had never met. Ok, so maybe there were the three occasions I drank too much (me, Dizabeth never!) and contacted her via what’s app: first time was so random. She is a baker I saw an Aero baking chocolate. Well, it was a major case of “Erm earth to sis-in- law”. Press sent button. One tick followed by two, then two blue ticks. Followed by a very deafening silence. Dizabeth, didn’t get the memo and so at Easter and her birthday again I sent messages. To which there was no reply. It was at this stage, Dizabeth decided it is time to quit. As we all know being the drama Queen Dizzy is she deleted her “darling” sis-in- law. Then (dum, dum …. roll out dramatic music!) her son (sister in law’s son, for those that are getting as confused as me!) decided he loved his fiancée enough to change her status to his wife. So, yip a wedding invite arrived. No not in the post, which in fact is a hugely sad fact. In Nellies all our post offices besides the dodgy one in the centre of town have shut down permanently. I do believe along with that decision is the fact that there will be no more “I wrote a letter to my love and on the way, I dropped it” scenarios Yes/No? Maybe…. What are your thoughts on this one all my lovelies? In fact, I cannot remember if it was via What’s app or email? (Really Dizabeth does it matter) so that in a long way around is why Blog 16 has been so long in been published. Ok I am even thinking, what the heck is this woman leading up to? So let me explain. After much to-ing and fro-ing, we traversed to KZN for the wedding. We spent the week before with the kids. Ryan turned 30 and as if that wasn’t big enough occasion, he did a 50 miler in Karkloof. It was lovely but as a mama bear, being there and seeing him run those last kms in the beating sun, it was quite a challenge. As yes, he is his own person now and makes his own decisions but really – to decide to run a 50 miler – yip I don’t see the passion for this sport as he does – but then again …okay Dizabeth, let’s leave it at that – we are all entitled to run, walk, and in my case write because it is what makes our hearts happy. So, my point? It was quite a heart wrenching moment. The day Ryan would be approaching the finishing line (queue Forest Gump soundtrack – run Forrest run!) My youngest Chad would be touching down in Durban to the welcoming party that was erm no one as we were all at the finishing line at Karkloof. Now this would not be such an issue if it wasn’t for the fact that this was the second time he has arrived in Durban to a “Norman no friends” scenario. How bleak is that? Add to this fact that I had not seen him since January. You will recall we were blessed to have Ryan and Michelle stay with us when the frikken Looters were running wild in July (actually they not even worth giving attention to even in a small unknown blog such as mine!) We were blessed there that they were not in the midst of that horrendous event. So, back to the bit where I really felt I wish I could space travel: see Ryan cross the Karkloof finish line and then whizz in my Back to the Future time machine to welcome Chaddy as he stepped off the plane onto Durban soil. It was not to be. After the race had been completed – Gary and I beetled it home – shucks that was, quite a feat let me tell you. Karkloof…all the way down Fields Hill was mist and rain and many, many potholes! Lordy the potholes were horrendous. Anyhow we made it home and welcomed Chad with Ryan and Michelle joining us a little later.

My darling child and Hubby at the finish line

The week whizzed by with plenty of fantastic family memories being made. The most fantastical were the ones made with Nan, Grandad and Tide. Ryan and Chad reality called and they continued working. Chad remotely, Ryan to the school he went each day. I think it was on the first day of the working week that Gary and I took Tide for the morning. He bunked school, so that was another interesting experience. I went along for the ride, great excitement as Nan went with Mama Bear to drop Tide off at school, Nan in her gown and slippers nogal! Great excitement for Nan (I reckon more so than Tide). We arrived at the school and the cuteness personified chap grabs his little backpack and waves a hearty goodbye to Nan and mom. It was at this point that the memories flooded back for nan. Those days when I as a young mom, always running late, flustered and my mind already on what today brought. I dropped off the boys, waved them goodbye enthusiastically as they made their way through the school gate. The memories: I realized how quickly life rushes by, I felt overcome with tears and had a good, happy cry all the way home! To create lifers, I did some real crazy memory making moments. When we dropped Tide, I ensured I was in the car before mom strapped him into his seat in the back seat. As the car started, I jumped up from the seat behind Tide with a shower cap on, my gown and slippers and pretended I had in fact been asleep when the car engine had awoken me. The delight on my little grandson’s face as he watched literally gob smacked as Nan stretched and yawned from the back seat was priceless. Then there was the occasion as Tide played in the bath Nan came through asking how his bath was going as she casually and fully clothed jumped into the bath with him. Another priceless moment and a huge thank you to my dearest friends Rick and Tracy for sharing these moments with me. Great idea and as I said created priceless Lifer memories for both Tide and his Nan. 😊 We also had great “hide & seek moments”. Tide loves in fact adores playing hide n seek. I am convinced every time he noticed Nan was too relaxed and looking like she was kicking back he would enthusiastically suggest “Hide nan Hide!” Anyhow, that was a huge digress. So, we took him to Mitchell Park. (Hmm rather bleak look these days hey Durban peeps☹) although if I think of it not that a child would notice. Having frequented it so when our kids were small it was a huge disappointment, anyhow as I say not for Tide. We had an amazing morning even with Grumpasurus Gramps with us. He would be the disciplinarian whilst Nan played the fool and had heaps of fun with Tide. We arrived there at 9am and left when he mentioned for a second time, he wanted to go home, was fast approaching his nap. He passed out in the car – face covered in chocolate, Niknaks and juice. A wonderful morning was had by all. I, commend Grandad here when I was gadding with Karen, Granddad took Tide to the bird park – all on his ownsome nogal!

This little chap is yawning not about to take a bite of his chip.

Now some of these moments became quite extended as whilst I twisted my old, not agile body into little hidey ho spots and hoped and prayed it wouldn’t take long for the family to find us. I must mention the excitement and thrill that Tide experienced as we remained hidden were again priceless. Whispering to his Nan, and the excitement reaching its highest point when he heard the footsteps approaching as a family member got closer and closer to our hiding spot. However, there were those moments when said family members were so busy chitty chatting that they completely forgot to come and look for us. There Nan sat in a tiny hiding spot, a hot flush slowly consuming her  every being. Now it is at this point I have to relate how uncooperative Uncle Chad and Grandad were at Hide and seek. Awhile back we won an amazing life-size Teddy Bear for Tide, whom at this moment is his confidante (No, no not in the movie TED way). So we in Chad’s (Actually Tide’s room) hiding on the bed, behind Mr. Teddy and Chad truly has no idea we are there. He casually walks into the room scratching and yawning, thinking he is having a private moment in his room. Erm…with Nan and Tide hiding not! So, Tide is beside himself with excitement. I, on the other hand am pretty sure Chad can see us (me especially since I am the same size as the blady bear!) and I reckon he is playing along. Until I realise he isn’t as he looks at me (and Tide) gets the fright of his life and bellows out “WTF Ma?” …so of course I am signaling for him to pretend and say “Hmmmm I wonder where Tide could be” ….and move a few objects around as you pretend you can’t see him. Well, this dear readers went down like a frikken lead balloon. He stood there, staring at myself and Tide and said in the most monotone tone I have ever heard “Where is Tide?“ waited not even half a frikken second and pointed at us and said in that same blady tone “Oh, there he is.”

Exercising and although Nan looks a pity poogey here its actually called tiredness but full hearts all round.

Now I am sad to say Gary was no better. He walked into the room and wouldn’t even attempt to look behind objects but would walk straight up to us and say, in a slightly, ever so slightly thrilling tone “There is Tide.” I must commend my Skoondogter at this point too. As when Nan was well and truly feeling bushed, and Tide excitedly ran up to me and said, “Nan Hide?” my gorgeous Skoondogter would give me a glance and say to Tide, no my boy Nan needs to help mom with this or that chore.” – thank you for that Skoondogter. Footnote here: When Tide is “hiding” an example is he was hiding behind the net curtain in the lounge, you walk in – clearly you spot him instantly but obviously you pretend you haven’t seen him as you loudly say “Hm I wonder where Tide could be”. It is so, so, so blady cute he actually goes “Psst” from behind the curtain as the excitement of it all cousumes his every being. I will never forget this very, very real emotional exciting moment he portrays. He truly is in the game.

In between playing Hide and seek, taking Tide to school and forming a closer, memorable bond with my precious little grandson I was very, very fortunate to spend quality “sister and me” time with Karen. Thank you for the spoils my sis. We high tea’d at the Oyster Box – oh my giddy aunt – what a flippen treat! We lunched at Java Café in Umdholti and coffee’d everywhere as we chitty chatted about days gone by, today and tomorrows still to come. I adore my sister truly I do thanks for being the most amazing salt of the earth girl I have ever known and have the privilege of saying “Hell Yes she is my sister!”

We decided it was also time to lay mom and dad to rest. Each time we get together we chat about this but always seem to not get there time wise. So, this time we made a concerted effort. I arrived the Sunday morning – the weather played along, it was a grey, misty rainy day. We both had on our warm clothes and Karen brought mom and dad out. We were finally going to have our goodbyes with them. Until that is, we couldn’t open the boxes with their ashes inside. I know, I know, I hear you all bellowing. WTF? Why? Well, the dearest Ellis sisters were of the thought that you simply lifted the lid of the wooden box when in fact dear reader you need to have a screwdriver on you. So, for now until my next visit mom and dad are still residing on the shelf with Karen. It is at this point I do have to add. Karen asked, “Would you like to take mom with you to Nelspruit?” I could just imagine Gary’s face with mom sitting pride of place on the lounge shelf. So, till next time mom and dad – remember as whacky as you both were – we love you and will remember the screwdriver next time 😊. Thank you, Tracy and Pete, for including us in Jaxon’s 4^th Birthday, it was an amazing start to a truly precious and blessed family time holiday. We met dearest Harvey too. What a charmer he is already. Thank you also to Karen for hosting us for a family braai and including our dear friends Shaz and Gerard.

My Beautiful skoondogter and oldest hunky son Ryan.

As I have already mentioned it was fantastic reliving the memories of our teen years in the hood. Karen and I visited the La Lucia Mall and as in the days gone by – you are sure to bump into someone you know each time and true to form it was lovely – really, lovely seeing you Gail Holman and Karen (nope another one not my sis dear readers). Hopefully Gail next time we can confidently give each other the hugest bear hugs with no fears of that dreaded C word! Niknak, who I know for a fact won’t be seeing this as she doesn’t even read labels! So a huge shout out to her, it was fantastic seeing you, Daryl, Hayden and Tay. They have lived in the same house since the day we met. So, with the memory a little sketchy we arrive outside their house, toot toot, nothing. We notice there is a person inside the house that clearly can see our car, yet still no gate opening. It is at this stage Gary starts flooking me and questioning are you sure that this is the house. “Of course, it is” I very confidently reply whilst quietly starting to wonder myself. Again, we give a gentle toot. Finally, the gate slowly starts opening. We drive in, and I am so sure any minute now that front door that is so familiar to me will open and out will bound Niknak. Nothing. Not even a blady dog comes bounding out. Gary says: “I swear Liz if this is the wrong house I will die of embarrassment”. I answer, “Relax man of course its their house” Whilst I am silently seriously now doubting myself. What if they have frikken sold the house and she thinks I am aware of this fact and is in fact waiting for me at her new house. After what felt like the longest time in a strangers blady garden, the door burst open and there was dear Niknak with her usual laughing face and biggest hug.

My second hunkiest gorgeous boy, Chad and his (and our) beautiful Monet.

Before we knew it, it was Friday and tomorrow was time to “face the music” (Dum dum dum dramatic music) we awoke, threw (it was a time thing, so we literally threw) our wedding clothing and everything else into the back of the car and off we tootled. In our Honda seven-seater which Gary purchased a few years back for exactly a time like this. Chad who has the longest legs ever, sat with Gary in the front, then Monet, Skoondogter and precious little Tide in his car seat, and last but not least Nan in the very back. We had the best time enthusiastically discussing our wedding wishes. What food would they serve? And the canapes, what would they comprise of? Chad mentioned when at his brother’s wedding he had concentrated on getting totally sloshed so this time was so looking forward to the food. Monet hadn’t been to a wedding since she was seven years old. I of course had my silent concerns of seeing my “beloved” sister-in-law after our altercation a year ago. It was an amazing family time as we traversed to the venue which was in Underberg. The weather was again misty and rainy, and we distracted Gary from realizing how bad the road was with the potholes along the way with our banter. We stopped at a very welcome little coffee shop called Rox on the way. I of course being the oinky that I am, ordered the most delish toastie and a hot chocolate. Yummo 😊 it really was a great road trip vibe filled with anticipation in an excited way. We arrived at 1.40pm the wedding was 2.30 we raced to the camping site toilets and hurriedly dressed. Ok, so going back a bit, I had not brought my black boots along as I thought agh its summery now. However, as the weatherman had predicted snow and I had brought along my stylish little black slip on’s I did think yikes I was gonna be frizzzo. Then I had a flash of brilliance and asked Michelle if she would mind very much if we stopped off at her house which was on the way to collect her fluffy black boots. Although it did cause considerable anxiety for Gary that we would be diverting from our planned route – we stopped none the less. It was raining so dear Michelle stood on the rain-soaked pavement with her precious little grand daughter and threw the boots in the general direction of our car as it zoomed past. (Not really but you get the idea for dramatic effect!) so when I was getting to the putting on the black tights bit (my absolute genius idea) don’t I realise in my rush to pack I had not included the black tights! So, there I was my lily-white legs in my little black slip on’s – slip sliding around in the sludge of the mud.  When we had booked our accommodation, it was really quite pricy, so genius Dizabeth decided on the cheapest option. Camping. No, not glamping – Camping! Little did she know it would be incredibly inclement weather and snow predicted nogal! So, I was having therapy about the fact that I had buggered up so when my skoondogter came to my rescue. As Ryan was the best man – he could take my place in the tent whilst Tide, his mama bear and Nan shared their comfy bed at the venue. This thought comforted me way more than any of you would ever, ever, frikken eveeeer imagine. I didn’t stress too much about my slip on’s knowing that when it came time to retire for the evening I would be ensconced in a comfy warm bed. That is until we looked at the accommodation list. And there bright and bold on the list it stated that Ryan Roberts would be in tent town. Well, well, well my lovelies that was me. I was just about plutzing, as I must admit was Michelle. However, she most certainly had more of a reason what with little Tide perhaps having to sleep in a tent. When we finally realized that we had supposed the incorrect info and that said Ryan Roberts was not in fact our Ryan (surname being Robbertze – obvious!) I cannot stipulate enough the flick flacks we both performed.  So, after a really frizzo wedding reception dear Dizabeth quietly slip slid her way through the sludge to her toastie bedroom.  I woke sometime during the night with Ryan and Michelle sneakily getting a pile of blankets together for those unfortunate buggers sleeping in the tents, namely Gary, Chad and Monet. Apparently enough alcohol was consumed so that they never even knew that they were sleeping in a tent – never mind how frikken frizzo it was weatherwise.

Mama bear, Papa bear and baby bear.

It truly touched my heart when we awoke the following morning – Tide woke and was clearly confused as to where the heck he was (wait until you start joling as a young man Tide, you will have that feeling plenty of times!) he literally woke and asked “Where Tide?” followed by “Who is this?” then recognizing it as his dearest Nan. I would love to know the thoughts running through his head as to why Nan, Mom and dad were all in the same bed! 😊 (yip at 2am when it was finally time to retire Ryan decided the bed a better option) so not to sound anything like “Indecent proposal” or “Southern comfort” or God forbid “Deliverance” – we had a family sleep over 😊.

After a truly dreadful occurrence at the wedding and hence an incredibly stressful trip home – the reasons are way too many to share in this blog (damn sure you lovelies have had enough for this week anyway) we finally arrived home (Nelspruit) 8pm last Monday night. My mom-in-law is currently visiting with us – no excuses but hence the added delay publishing this blog.

Hope you have all been well.

Stay safe all my lovelies.

Take care till next time 😊

Mwah Mwah