Blog 18 – No! Absobloodalutely not – No!! It’s a definite no from me!

Last week I had a situation, a situation I really didn’t want to be in. So, I decided what the heck I am going to say no! Well, well, well that was not met with happiness on the receiving side at all! Now you know me, I can’t stand disappointing anyone, but hell man – surely that should include myself! Yet, it doesn’t!

I get that most of us try our level best to keep the happiness boat a float. So last week I was asked to do something which I really was not happy to do. I don’t want to get into too much detail here – but I really was not at all happy to do it! I said no – and immediately felt that cold war, sulky vibe!

It didn’t even frikken sneak up – it was …as I opened my mouth with the N for no ….. “nnnnnnn…” it was there whamo in my face. I cannot lie, I frikken lay awake at night pondering this decision. I had said no for a valid reason but found myself tossing and turning – now do you think that they, the other party was lying awake tossing and turning …erm a definite no here! So why, oh why was I? I have always been one of those – “Erm so sorry to worry you, do you mind? Ah thank you, thank you – so appreciate” blah blah blah on and on I go. I truly hate saying NO but it’s time to learn. Instead of tossing and turning (although mind you, with all my tossing and turning I surely do lose weight – nah you reckon not?) Never mind the hectic dark rings under my eyes! I certainly would not have to worry about applying make-up if I were to participate as a zombie for Halloween. Dizabeth can just go as herself! Some of the times that I have said no – (including last week) I then worry and have the longest debates with myself. Was that fair of me? Now if this were to be reversed. The person I am tossing and turning about, that I dared say no to – as if I was swallowing glass, well they would have boomed a resounding NO and not had a second thought about that little No! So why is it – well maybe not you dear reader – but dearest Dizabeth – she really battles to say no to a virtual stranger – yet my loved ones – boy oh boy does Dizabeth do a loud and clear no.  Not even a slight hesitation there – Nope. Nada. Niks. Nothing other than it is a definite no. When the kids were small – actually maybe that is it – I as a young mama bear I used up all my no’s and then some! “Mom please can we…..”

“No! No! No!” I boomed. Mind you, interesting one – our newbie – Rosie! Our cute rescue who has been a Robbertze since August – now she has learnt to manipulate me to never say no to her. I recently was given some lovely hand cream it really is lovely and was quite expensive (how do I know this little fact – the price was still on it!) I have a habit of leaving things here, there and

Little Bandit with Miss No No Not – Rosie

everywhere – now Rosie – she has a habit of finding things that are left here, there and everywhere and she takes them, chews them and sometimes even buries them! Two recent incidents: she took my hand cream – chewed it beyond recognition. With my blady nail polish – no, no dear reader (the top part of the nail polish – chewed, chewed and then left it to bake in the sun!) Did she get into trouble – did I boom a resounding nooooooo to her when I finally found them? No, I did not. Why is this? Why does this little fur kid get away with no big fat reprimand that would include that little word “No? Simply because she is just too damn cute, she has me wrapped around her furry little paw – in fact – all four of them!!

Now I can think of two occasions when I DID say an emphatic NO! Gary and a friend, erm, well I wouldn’t call him a friend – he was a blady pair of underpants – Mr User. It all started for one of the big world cup rugby matches. No, I have no idea which one dear reader – I am afraid to say I have zero interest in rugby. I may watch if it involves a glass of wine, other than that – nah – not for me thanks! Their friendship started when Gary and Mr. User went to Amsterdam on business. It was here that Gary failed to read the huge, really huge and ugly display of graffiti never mind writing on the wall! Apparently, they both had an allowance per day. Now what this guy did, he would conveniently spend his on things for him and his family but when it came to the pub – he would bum off my beloved husband. Yip I hear you asking what did I get as a gift from Amsterdam? Sore subject my lovelies – very, very in fact, damn sore subject! I had placed an order for a Pandora charm. Now let me tell you I know that this was obtainable because – yip you guessed! Dizabeth googled where in Amsterdam the Pandora shop was – and dear lovelies – how convenient, it was at the airport which Gary chose to walk right past! Now let me tell you, had there been a pub next door to said Pandora shop – then perhaps after a couple of pints I may, just may have gotten my wish. But I didn’t – but dear Mr. User – he got more, much more than his fair share of beers – all with love from his blady travel buddy aka Gary. When they were on home shores again, they worked together (sort of) now the problem was he resided approximately three hours out of Nelspruit. So how convenient, since he had seen how generous Gary was in Amsterdam – whilst him and the family were in Nelspruit why oh, why would you even check out the local BnB’s or even air B&B’s when you had “dear old Gary” living in the hood?! Now I have been known to exaggerate on occasion. However, on this occasion dear reader I am definitely NOT. There was a rugby match – well Gary invited Mr. User and his family to come stay with us. They all tootled off to the live match here in Nellies. I of course grabbed the Netflix moment that it was and had a wonderful afternoon. It was after the game. When Mr.User, Gary and his family ….and no lies about eight friends pitched at our house. Yip there was over seventeen of us! Totally unexpected to me! And one question, who do you think did the cooking, cleaning and and ….yip! So, I smiled and waved. Until I didn’t! It occurred a second time. This occasion anyone on closer inspection would have picked up the slight twitch in my sulky face!!! But they didn’t – or rather chose not to. And again, I cooked, cleaned and this time consumed copious amounts of wine. When everyone staggered off to their bedrooms after a splendacious, chillaxing evening of Dizabeth doing everything. Dizabeth struck! I casually whipped Gary’s phone off the pool table, poured myself another glass of wine and put my plan into action. (Intro Cruella Devil cackle right here).

The next morning Gary awoke full of the joys of spring, albeit a bit twitchy around me as he had noticed my twitch and had felt the very angry vibe. As the brethren of “un”invited guests awoke they suddenly started packing, and that breakfast they had so casually ordered before retiring for the evening was forgotten. They were on a definite exiting exercise.

I stayed in the bedroom whilst they performed their dramatic exit. I waited with bated breath. When the gang had departed Gary came sheepishly to the bedroom door and even knocked before entering! “Babe Peter read me the what’s app I sent him last night.” he quietly murmured, embarrassment awash on his face.

I had sent Mr. User a what’s app from Gary’s phone, so from Gary I guess (wink wink!!!)

 “Mr. User, going forward I have decided – no more sleep overs – thank you and Good-bye.”

Well dear reader suffice to say Mr. User was never the same around Gary after that. Hm, clearly showing his true self. And Gary will never, ever admit to me – but I do believe he was truly thankful for my “no” in that instance. Next time any of you lovelies have a problematic, unwanted guest – call me!

There are however times where I feel I should not shout out a “hell no” – and I do. For instance, when at the supermarket – “Do you want a packet mam?” “No thanks it should be great I only have one or two items”. Then I juggle my way out of the blady shop as I drop, curtsy and do amazing stunts trying to retrieve the items I was adamant I didn’t need a packet for. “Can I help you with your trolley mam?”  “No thanks I am all good” as I narrowly miss the fancy BMW on my left but then hit a blady ditch and unbalance the whole blady apple cart. (Whilst the whole of Nelspruit watches me!) and days gone by, when Chad would try unsuccessfully, I might add to suppress his laughter as I fought to retrieve the now unbalanced groceries toppling out of the trolley!

Then there are those times you ponder whether should I have said “no” when I did? That occasion when Mr Dreamboat asked me to marry him after we had partied hard all night. Hm perhaps he really was a Mr. Money bags? Who remembers my neighbour Giovanni – he left the flowers in my Vespa basket? That night he asked Gary if Gary was indeed serious about me. Hm, what if Gary had said no? Would I be an Italian mama now, with pasta steaming in the kitchen – shit maybe even living the dream in Italy. Damn it man! Best I stop questioning all those no’s right now!

Funny as we wrap up this week – Gary never says, well, to me he never says no. If there is something he really isn’t keen on doing and I excitedly suggest “Babe should we go to the movies to see Ghost/Grease/The greatest showman on earth/Love story……you get my drift? He very diplomatically replies: “we can do” and that dear reader is a very, very, definite NO!

Till next week – take care, stay safe and healthy and thanks for all the love – I adore you lot, I truly do.

Mwah Mwah.