Blog 23: Regrets I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention.

Whilst driving last week I passed a SAB truck it had that big ad – REGRET nothing – don’t drink and drive. So that got me thinking about what I could chat about this week. Now if I am honest, I am clueless as to why the heck I feel this is a chatty subject. I am already stumped – so what is there to regret Dizabeth? What disappointments do I have? I would be lying emphatically to say none. I do.

Obviously, a few that spring to mind: I never became an influencer. My Musgrave advertorial stayed exactly that, a blady advertorial right there at the Daily News in Durban and never grew into New York or Milan. It in fact is a faded yellowed page in my photo album. Sigh Sigh. Ah mind you I have never thrown a tantrum in the bank – I guess it isn’t too late – that could still happen. Hm as you are aware Chad was leaving this Wednesday to begin his exciting American chapter in his book of life – thanks to the blady Omicron variant that has given Delta a shove in the proverbial this dream is now on ice. However since he is currently with us (yip you are so right we have one super, uber delighted mama bear) digressing again Dizabeth so as I was saying since it is put on ice and we in the Lowveld – I am very confident with our heat the ice will soon melt and he will be on his way and then dear reader, and then this influencer and soon to be nana model could visit him and throw a tantrum in a bank in Florida (this is where he will be based). I know right! Brilliant idea. Just like that, I would be both an influencer and hm don’t know so much about the model bit. Unless of course it was a dinosaur shoot. That could work! Or now I am thinking, you will recall when Ryan was younger (Blog 15: “Things my boys said I want to remember forever”) when I laughed and he said “Mom when you laugh you get such stripes on your face” – so, I could become an aging Zebra perhaps a representative of Zebras sure, they not on the endangered list but I could become their “influencer” so they never land up on that list! Now there’s a thought – how’s that for an influencer?

Other things I don’t regret – now I can’t say I don’t regret as that’s a huge blady fib I would have gladly married a rich man – yes you read correctly I love Gary to bits – but sjoe imagine if I could have married a really rich guy – and I could have had a flat – ah wait a minute – I mean an apartment in New York. Hell man – Trevor Noah could have been my neighbour both of us fellow Saffers in the New York hood! We could have a barbecue together yip we would live in the penthouse so we would be able to “braai” and we could sing “New York New York, start spreading the news I’m leaving today…” ol blue eyed Frankie could be booming from our boom box. Actually, I would probably resemble Liza Minelli as she is today and Trevor – well Trevor would be as he is right now. Ok, yip time to snap my fingers and realise I am not Dorothy and this is not Ozzywood so back to reality – me sitting on my boiling verandah listening to the hadedas screeching and swotting the trillionth fly. Yesterday we had another amazing day in Kruger. I mean that alone, who sees lions, leopards, Rafes (as Tide says) ellies and all the other incredible residents of Kruger as often as I (we) do?  Ok, yes, I admit I am waffling now and its actually trivial what I am writing about, and I know, I know you have places to be and people to see beside reading my blog so let me get on with the subject at hand.

Regrets – as ol Frankie blue eyes sang – Regrets I have a few but then again too few to mention. (Intro big band – saxophone, trumpets, piano …the whole shebang!)

A regret of mine – when I was young and restless – kidding – since I am going with the whole naming of songs – and talking about Trevor and Frankie thought I would go with a series or was it a movie title? Anyhow you get the whole idea, I am sure. So, when I was young all I really wanted to do – no, no not when I was that young, as you know when I was “that” young Charmaine and I loved playing Barbie – what I am saying though is that I wish when I was at school I had had the foresight to see myself as I am now. No, NO! dear reader not as a haggard old woman! I wish I had had the foresight to see my future. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved how my “career” has played out – however if I could do it all again now – I would study and obtain a degree! A degree is a ticket opening me up to the world and I would have become a teacher. No, I don’t think a high school teacher – frikken hell I would have been in tears every day! Nope, the little ones – I love how they are so enthusiastic, energized, innocent and just in absolute awe of the world around them. When they get to those teen years, they tend to believe they are well learned and way, way more knowledgeable than us elders. (Yip I also thought I was quite a hip hop and happening dancing queen when I was young – shucks Trish can testify to me getting kicked out of class more than once) and the thing is looking back I am not proud in fact I am not ashamed either. It is what it is but darn I wish I hadn’t thought I was so clever chirping back to the teacher. I wish I had knuckled down and achieved good grades. (I am damn sure the teachers wouldn’t have developed a fondness of alcoholic beverages each evening if I had just behaved.) Mind you: I do have a degree – a degree in Life – Life and its lessons for that I am forever grateful, and I treasure the lessons I have been taught thus far.

Decisions: Interesting the decisions we make when we young (and restless 😊) and decisions we make now. When I was younger Alex and I packed up and moved to Cape Town – Camps Bay to be precise. We didn’t think it through we just did it (Like Nike!) She, being the hotty she was (and still is) she found a boyfriend and would spend the majority of her time at his place, it was a Cape winter and I was actually her blady dog sitter at the end of the day – beside the dogs it was a hermit existence. My biggest regret – there you go – here’s one! I didn’t drive (I know! Crazy hey – it really wasn’t an issue to me to get my license right then, thank goodness for Gary and his dad) so I was stuck at home each night and soon enough, withstanding each morning in the driving rain and in frikken darkness at 7am waiting for the bus I decided that’s it – I am calling it quits! I caught the midnight plane (no, no not the midnight train going anywhere – Journey) and came home. That was also a major turn in my life. My folks had in the meantime (frikken clever they took the gap – sold their house and moved to a smaller flat) so when I arrived back home, I was forced to put on my big girl panties and find my own place that I called home. Actually, Dizabeth just pondering now, I am sure at some stage I would have made the decision to move out of home. Flippen hell can you imagine me there still now – well problem one – they not alive anymore so, yip – secondly can you see me this old “dinosaur” still asking permission to use the phone or sneaking home at 3am when I was supposed to be home at 12. Nah – in retrospect the decisions I made – they weren’t that bad – and regrets – yip I do have a few!!! In fact I have nooooo idea why I ever did this, but the following two tale are my hugest regrets.

 When I was growing up sjoe my mom was strict! As I have mentioned before I thank her for that though. She made me the woman I am today. I know right! No comments thank you very much dear reader! So Dizabeth – digressing again! She would test me ok. Two things I will never forget as I learnt them parrot fashion. “The spinning Jenny was” and “osmosis is the process whereby water molecules move from ……” no no dear readers I purposely didn’t finish the sentences. This is your fun fact time, can you complete these handy history and bio facts?

Multi-Spindle Spinning Frame

The spinning jenny is a multi-spindle spinning frame and was one of the key developments in the industrialization of textile manufacturing during the early Industrial Revolution. It was invented in 1764 or 1765 by James Hargreaves in Stanhill, Oswaldtwistle, Lancashire in England.

Spinning Jenny

Right lessons over back to the “subject” at hand. So, I would be in my room learning (probably was doing everything but shucks imagine if it was today with Facebook and Instagram I would be buggered!) anyhow my mom would bellow “Elizabeth time to be tested” I would go through she would be in her favourite chair in her sunny reading room reading about “Ghosts and ghouls and gods that go clickerty clack (Blog 5 – Those were the days my friend) I can remember shucks I would get so, so nervous – guess because I knew what was coming! So she would test me – and yip you guessed I would get the dates mixed up and would refer to it as the Spinning Penny …or something such – she would start with steam spewing out of her ears – and very, very patiently (not!) ask me to tell her again when the Spinning Jenny was invented …blah blah blah – I would again mess up – and this dear reader is what I regret so blady much !! She would throw my book at me and hiss at me to go and learn it again and “don’t come back until you know it!” – and guess who did this to her boys when they were studying. I know right! WTF! I detested my mom doing it to me and I did it to the boys. Now that dear readers has to be my biggest regret!!!! Oh, wait another one has jumped into my thoughts – I never read bedtime stories to the boys, I was always too blady busy pouring another glass of wine. But, But….BUT here’s the best about these regrets, the boys don’t remember books being thrown at them. And beside the fact of books flying across the room like a missile destined to bomb them they apparently don’t remember not being read to either!!! (Well, so they say – hmmmmm perhaps they just trying to placate mama bear – Hmm I hope it has never scarred them) one thing – when Tide and all future grandkids are in my house and on my watch – I will NEVER allow books to be chucked across any rooms and I WILL ensure I read them bedtime stories.

Duck! Book in flight

And that dear reader is us for this week. I am pondering as I sit in the heat with the gazillionth fly buzzing irritatingly around me – another decision – perhaps I should invent a hat – never mind the Auzzy one with the corks mine will flippen shock them as they settle on the blady hat itself!! Is that a bit too hectic? I see you reaching for your phone as you dial Greenpeace!

Till next week, stay well, healthy and take care of yourselves out there.

And ALWAYS be kind to yourself.

Quoting Tam – “That’s all she wrote.”

Mwah Mwah