Blog 25 : – Christmas cards, report Cards & credit cards.

With just over a week to go to Christmas, I was on the brink of booking a therapy session for myself, because I have not received a single Christmas card in the post this year. I pondered about years gone by, when my folks and then us had that piece of wool (preferably red) tied from one side of the fireplace – no wait a minute, that would be in a Christmas Hallmark movie. We (in the real world) would tie it (the red wool) from one nail on the wall – no wait, it was pictures on the wall that we tied the wool to, now that I recall. I remember the curtain thingy that “box thing’ that hide where the curtain hung from – that was very useful for Easter –shucks ask my sister about that! Displaying her beautiful, uneaten easter eggs up there for me to salivate over! (Blog 4 – Fantastical Fantasy) and then the pictures on the wall useful for Christmas time. Anyhow, I don’t know why I am expecting a whole heap of Christmas cards when, I in fact have only sent one. And that was because a friend of mine was sending a parcel to this special person and so I took the opportunity of slipping my Christmas card into the parcel. Thanks Lynn😊.  

My old school report.

Remember back in the day, it would have to be at least a month before Christmas, buying the pack of Christmas cards. Even back then they were expensive, old cheap skate me – I recall buying them on special – and they were flimsy, definitely not quality – and then you would need to stop at the post office (what is a post office I hear you ask). Hm, well it used to be a building where you could purchase stamps, money orders, and post letters. Oh yes you could even have photocopies made and get documents certified by the Postmaster and now, we have exactly one remaining here in Nellies. But I guess before I rant on about how the whole system is collapsing, I should hazard a guess as to why. What’s apps, emails, and, and, and …. so, apologies for my “almost” rant there. I think perhaps it could be that our dearest post offices are almost null and void. Although hmm what about parcels? They still get sent. Yip I recently received a slip in my – ok no, it was not in my post box as I don’t even have a postbox it was in fact lying on my driveway. I ordered a book.

Fun fact: if you ever looking for a book and cannot find it anywhere try Book Depository – they in the UK. You order the book, and they post it to you.

 The first time I never received it, so typical me I complained. They re-sent it and yay yay yayyest I did get and read it😊 (stating the obvious here dear Dizabeth!) So, digressing again! Ok, back to the Christmas cards. I recall writing, oh wait firstly you made a list and then you would write the cards. Tick each one off. I remember I never used to stick to just wishing them a Blessed Christmas and a successful new year. Nope, in true Dizabeth style I would write my life story on that left hand side of the card. You know the blank side? I recall the first card it was so neat, beautifully written, the last card resembled a spider had walked across the card. Plus being left-handed if I used a smudgy pen – yip you can visualize it! Then it would be sticking the postage stamps on – and after all that effort, it was posting them! I would take the time to buy them, make the list, write them out and then – yip they would sit and sit and sit waiting to be posted. I reckon some years I never even posted them! I mean why the heck go to all that effort for them to sit on the table right by the front door, so you remember to post them – and then you don’t! “Ah ….” I hear you saying, “then you can post them next year”. Nope because during the year, they casually move from that table at the front door to a desk and eventually a drawer somewhere, and you find them years later when you either spring cleaning or maybe even moving! Also in my case, that book I wrote to you last year, all that news has changed in the year hasn’t it!

Since we about cards though – there are a variety of cards at this time of the year that are “floating around”. One I recall – not that fondly if I am honest – the report card. Yip that dreaded (well always in my case!) report card. The one that follows up on all the cycle cards you amended before you presented it to your parents to sign before taking it back to school during the year. The one where I received an F for Biology and changed it to a B. The one where your teacher has a record of the true results and at the end of the year instead of just an F – there is a big red circle around it. And no, it is not because it is the Christmas season, and she is drawing a little Christmas wreath around your mark! My mom and dad were truly stymied because “during the year you did so well Dizabeth, what went wrong my girlie?” Lucky for me it was always blady Biology I failed – never one of the language subjects where that little Christmas wreath had an additional meaning to it – it meant that the following year – you in fact would be repeating this year! Another thing – what about the blady comments that were right there next to the mark with the Christmas wreath around it? And the teacher signed it nogal!! “Elizabeth is erratic and talks too much” “Disappointing result Elizabeth” “Elizabeth needs to try harder next year”. Although I don’t really know how I aced it but at the bottom of said report – each year I did have “Promoted to standard …..” so there you go it wasn’t all bad news! And my folks – yes initially they were disappointed but probably because it was “the season to be jolly” they soon forgot about the dismal report their dear Dizabeth had received.

Promoted to Standard 10.

And the last card we shall chat about today – drum roll dramatic music – our credit cards! How easy is it to have Christmas every month! I thought I was doing pretty well with mine last month. Every time I spend it gives me the balance. Oh well Dizabeth you looking swell Dolly – I can tell Dolly you still glowing you still …..(who knows that little line? It’s from the old musical Hello Dolly back in the day with Barbara Streisand and Louis Armstrong) erm not (doing well on the credit card balance dear reader)! I never realized that the balance – well there are more than one number it comes from! So, yip last month I was happily, and I mean………. H-A-P-P-I-L-Y swiping the ol’ plastic and not realizing just how much additional debt I was incurring. So, when you ask me to join you for coffee for the remainder of this month – and I reply “Ah I would love to, but I am busy then” please realise that “busy” is code for “broke” – lucky for me I just got in there with Gary’s gift! Jokes aside dear reader – it was an uber close shave to Gary getting one of those home-made vouchers. You know the one I am talking about? Handwritten in my tidy to spider scrawl handwriting “This voucher entitles you to a back rub, foot tickle”, in Gary’s case – a frikken back scratch. No jokes – it infuriates me – I will be in my horizontal position – imitating a sloth and he will come and sit in front of me – I kid you not in front of me so yes, blocking my view of the television – and that indicates dear reader his back is itchy, and I must please scratch it!! Nope he doesn’t say a word – just sits there!

And on that scratchy note I am all scratched out for this week. As Tam says, “That was all she wrote”.

Don’t be too harsh if your kiddies bring home a report card similar to that of Dizabeth – remember it IS the season to be Jolly! If you have not posted those Christmas cards and you have not written life stories in them keep them for next year. And as I always remind you to be kind to yourself – also remember – be kind to your credit card as you sure going to need to lean on her next month.

And there we have that red circled Christmas wreath

Take care, stay safe and healthy. Thanks for all your love, encouragement. Love you all. Mwah Mwah