Blog 27: The year that wasn’t

First footnote of 2022: Thank you to my Skoon-dogter for the revamped very much photoshopped banner of me – I wish I really looked like this. Thank you I do love it. hugs always.

So, as I sit on my verandah on this warm, rainy Saturday morning the 31st December I reflect on the year that wasn’t. It wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t awash with good, its wasn’t the year I traveled to exotic locations, it wasn’t the year I made millions, it wasn’t the year I became an influencer or even traveled locally via the skies. However, there were many blessings. The biggest blessing by far – it was the year I started my blog! And thanks to you dear, dear reader – because of your support, enthusiasm and kindness each blog I have published means the world to me. Writing my blog each week most certainly is me in my happy place – so thank you.

I am sure many of us will agree at times, we were close, in fact closer than we ever realized to that lethal bug, “that” virus, “that” one – you know the “one” I am talking about hey? The one that you didn’t even know existed (note that this is dripping, in fact drowning in sarcasm) until you started to feel slightly “odd” just kind of “out of sorts”. I am very sure we all had many “close shaves” – some had bad effects, others were lucky enough to have very mild symptoms and some to date have not had that dreaded bug. I will at this point admit I do believe I am closer to having hectic stomach ulcers than any chance of COVID! Oh, my giddy aunt. I just feel the hint of a twitchy nose and whamo I pop Flustat. Now dear reader, Flustat is a R19,90 pack of 20 tablets. Royal blue in colour. Let me tell you it sure wards off any and all flu symptoms. Now stomach ulcers? The jury is still out on that one! (It’s a pleasure Flustat don’t mention it – free advertising for you right here on Dizabeth’s blog! Hm maybe don’t get too excited until the jury is back on the ulcers part though!)

Some of our holiday snaps – Tide and the caveman at Sudwala

A child standing next to a statue

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As the years have gone, I have had some real all fall down parties to see and wish the old/new year in and it would seem, as I have gotten older, some really quiet ones. So today I will share with you one or two of the younger, wilder, funnier side of old/new year with Dizabeth. I recall dancing until dawn to Ghost busters – the original movie – not the recent remake. (It was the days I would party all night and sleep all day – so was quite pale).  My friends and I dancing in a circle. I had this white dress on and remember dear reader I have mentioned my extremely “attractive” blue black hair (Blog 26: The Christmas fairy) not my punk days as such, however I do admit it was a close second to the punk era. (I know, I know dear reader I am cringing as I type this – but the facts are the facts, and I did it so I will own it – sigh sigh!) Also, in those days I wore my fair share of makeup – base/foundation  – plastered it on in fact. I wasn’t much of a sun worshipper in those days either so yip the pale, extremely pale base with the panda eyes. Yip you getting a picture I am pretty sure.  Oh, my giddy aunt – just having my own flash back I used to plaster on the base and as if that wasn’t enough, I would then lather the powder on! So, the effect was a young ghost type granny who had stuck her finger in a plug look with all that powder! Anyhow in that particular song I recall my friends forming a circle around me and every time they sang the word “Ghostbusters” yip dear reader you guessed, they all pointed at me! And me! Oh, my word I thought I was the best thing since slice bread. This pale punk electric shocked granny prancing around the dance floor while my friends chanted at her! They all resembled the Beach Boys “Californian girls” with their blonde flowing locks and their golden tans.

All the girls

God how I must have stood out! Like a frikken bright bulbous clown in a court case when the Jury has just delivered their final verdict! Then there was the old/new year – you know if I recall one very clear thing about Dizabeth and old/new year. She would buy a new outfit for this event! Maybe a fashion statement to bring in the new year? Who frikken knows what Dizabeth’s thoughts were back then. I can tell you these days frikken hell, I wouldn’t even consider buying a new blady pair of panties for the occasion never mind a whole blady new outfit! Mind you I was looking at my really beyond saving slippers earlier this morning – perhaps I should spoil myself and go get a pair – there is sure to be 50% sales all over now? Hm I like this thought Dizabeth – let’s do that! So, it’s first blog of 2022 and first digression of the many still to follow in the course of this year! Actually it isn’t the first – there was one a few paragraphs up (sigh!sigh). Anyhow, I recall, Alex and I were spending old/new year at every frikken jaunt we frequented throughout the year, from the Cattleman to Fat Franks and onto my couzi’s in Umhlanga. We would party up a storm every year. Yikes the hangovers we endured for the next week – never mind the next day! This particular year I had bought a royal blue (sjoe seems royal blue has a lot of interaction in my life!) so I bought this dress – I recall it cost me a fortune but dear reader it was one of those “had to have” dresses. It was off the shoulders, um tight, tiny waist and then flared out – in fact from the late 50’s early 60’s era. So, there I was – oh and if I recall I was a bit more on the Californian girls’ side – I had a – actually I can’t remember but the blue-black hair had been replaced by something more average and every day. What stands out very, very clearly is the fact that that dress was my “special occasion dress’ I kept it for years. No, no dear reader I never said I wore it I said I kept it!  So this year there you had dear Dizabeth totally smitten by her royal blue 50-60”s flary off the shoulder dress and what turned out to be a total freak-a-zoid idiot of a man which at that time I didn’t see this side of him! Now it is at this point I could dedicate the next three blogs to this idiot – but I will not waste my time nor yours – although sadly at this point dear Dizabeth was smitten and seriously couldn’t see the stupidty of the man. In fact, no he wasn’t stupid he was a narcissist and preyed on young innocent girls (hm ‘innocent’ Dizabeth?? Not so much). So, whilst myself and Alex planned our old/news party dearest Dizabeth tried her best to stop thinking of Mr Freak-o-zoid. But alas he consumed her every thought and all she could imagine was the magical evening she would share with Mr Freak-o-zoid. So, she canceled with her bestie buddy in favour of idiot (I have made plenty mistakes in my life – and this was one ☹)Oh my word! I can recall me spending frikken hours washing and blow drying my hair, putting on my make up – yip I am afraid to say it was still the “plastering it on” phase but not so much the panda eyes anymore. Eventually I heard the doorbell ring – I did flick flacks down the passage, soooooooooo excited to see my dearest handsome man of my dreams. I was alive with excitement and anticipation of what the old/new year held in store for us. I chitty chatted nonstop as he drove. I felt honoured that he had given up his evening to spend with ME! Each corner we turned I was excited at the prospect of where it would lead us! Well dear reader he drove us to his house! Ok so I was a tad disappointed but still decided to give him the benefit of the doubt – perhaps he would blindfold me and lead me into his house that would be filled with candles lit in every nook and cranny as romantic music filtered through the room. I casually breathed in to see if I could detect the hint of something yummy cooking. Nothing. Ok, still all good I thought to myself. He put on the TV – that “Dinner for one” – you know that blady black and white old comedy that screens on one of the channels every blady year!

What would you like to drink?” I thought a glass of vino would set the ambiance – “I have water, coffee or tea?” well dear reader it was at this point that Dizabeth should most certainly have heard those frikken alarm bells that were actually sirens booming directly at her! But alas she didn’t. That frikken night – Mr Freak-0-zoid after watching “Dinner for one” – and making me a boiled egg! YIP you read correctly a blady boiled egg and only one at that! Bid me a “great evening as he was off to bed” – and no, no dear reader not “that type of bed” he meant the lights off, to bed to bed said sleepy head off to Dreamland I go’ type of bed. I sat in my off the shoulders, tight, tiny waist and flared out dress from the late 50’s early 60’s era – after consuming my single boiled egg and having a cup of tea I watched TV all alone as I heard the neighbours laughing, ching chinging glasses, watching fireworks and celebrating the new year in style. Of course, when Alex asked how my evening had been – well let’s just say I relayed a bit of a white lie. After all she had tried so hard to dissuade me from joining ol Narcissist Nick but of course – Dizabeth being Dizabeth – she knew better! Not!!!

When the kids came along, I recall we had many an old/new year with friends and family. I remember very fondly how I would phone my bestie Maureen every year, in those days we worked together and even then, we would phone each other every night and old/new year’s was no exception for us. Come 12 o clock we would always chitty chat. Mausie although we no longer do that (in all honesty I think it was the cost of cell phone bills and no longer having landlines that stopped that pleasure we shared, please know you are always in my thoughts and will always have a special place in my heart. May 2022 be the kindest and greatest to you and WK)

A group of people posing for a photo

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All the boys

Gary isn’t really the type that celebrates – he – hm I guess he has a point albeit a bit frustrating – he reckons that turning over of the calendar from one year to another – that last day is just another day. Now in truth the jury is still out for me here – but as we have got older, I have succumbed to his way – in fact this year on the neighbourhood watch group the next day there were heaps of photos of dogs and cats found and lost. I asked Gary “was it Beruit here last night?” he relayed it was – and dearest Dizabeth – she was fasto’s I never heard a single BOOM! I cannot say I miss those horrendous hangovers – why is it that on that particular night we tend (well Dizabeth did) to consume waaaaaayyyy more champers and vino than is necessary – perhaps actually it is the fact that we frikken trying to stay up to bring in the new year and shove the old one out the door?

It’s also been forever since I made a New Year’s resolution. I remember putting my whole energy into what I would or wouldn’t be doing in the coming year for frikken days before the time came. And did I ever stick to it – nope! And the guilt I would suffer when I didn’t stick to whatever it was – when those silent, secret doubts started creeping into my head – “Ah come on Dizabeth you deserve a cigarette” those demons that I fought!! My giddy aunt what a waste of energy. These days I try to live the life I deserve, to watch my weight and health as best I can – I don’t always get it right – in fact I don’t always get life right – but then I pick myself up, dust myself off and try all over again. And for me the most important thing in this hectic, scary world we currently humaning in – always, ALWAYS be kind to you – after all at the end of the day – it’s you you bid goodnight to and it’s you that you awaken to each morning – so damn it – be kind to yourself dear, dear reader.

A baby and a dog on a couch

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How uber cute is this …. two of my absolutely favourites

May 2022 be realistic yet not too dramatic. May our hearts be mostly glad and not sad. Let us achieve our goals as we keep pure our souls. Let us always know we tried and forgive ourselves when we gave our best and remember there will always be tomorrow.

And for this week’s blog dear reader “that’s all she wrote”

Stay safe, healthy and be blessed.

Mwah mwah

PS: I was driving earlier and pondering on this week’s blog when I suddenly remembered how I first started with my mask. (aka base). I was working part-time at John Orrs (yip so back in the days of the Ark and Noah). I had a pimple and I will never forget I used “Yardley” base tester to cover it. I actually smeared my whole nose, yes, my whole frikken nose with base. I noticed customers giving me a look and then another look and then discreetly walking away! Bet to this day they thank goodness they walked away on that near fateful day. They could also have looked like a ghost gran. Quite a while later the Yardley lady looked at me and asked what was up with the nose? I thought it was quite an expert job I had done! Can you imagine it dear reader? This normal skin with its spits, spots and freckles on it – and then this perfectly perfect nose (these days they would think it weas a photo shopped schnooz)!! I will say no more! But yes, it did commence the addiction to base.

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