Foot note:
Yip! It’s taken me a month since I last posted. BUT before you settle with this months/weeks/or just another blog, please be advised, this one was written back in the days of Nellies, so it isn’t an update of news here ….so now that I have cleared up that little fact, sit back and enjoy.
I was first in line at the robot the other day. There was a beggar standing waving at me. I sat there pretending I was looking at the most fascinating object way ahead of me and was so focused on that, that I actually wasn’t seeing her – in reality I clearly was very obviously seeing her and was feeling incredibly awkward. I have learnt from past experience though whatever you do, ensure you don’t reach down for your bag (if you live in South Africa – your bag shouldn’t even be in the blady car but in the boot, mines ALWAYS in the car!) but anyhow, you ensure you don’t reach into the cubbyhole, change the CD or the volume on your radio in the event they (beggar) thinks you’re reaching for a coin. I had a “Gogo” she was old and so festive I would always give her a rand, once I had just been grocery shopping and gave her my bread. Then on the other corner – we have this guy – long tall, swaying like a palm – he stands there quite passionately every day to collect as much as he possibly can for a beer or 12! I am seriously not being disrespectful when I call him Palm guy. He literally at the end of the day is swaying. He has conveniently set up within walking (staggering) distance of the bottle store. Now this Mr. Palm, oh my giddy aunt can he get abusive should you not give him money! So, in his circumstance -I most definitely do not feel at all awkward. In fact, I make a point of turning the volume up then down then medium, leave the volume button to reach back and change the volume again – I reach down – pick up my bag – open said bag – and take out my brush. So, I had a situation a few days back. I was in the SPAR, and I wanted to buy a slab of Cadbury (nope – for me dear reader, for me☹) the first sign from the Universe was I couldn’t reach it – too blady short. I tried my tippy toes (yip I was adamant to get this slab!) no luck – it was at that exact moment as I pondered what my next move could be that I spotted a really, tall guy walking past! “Sorry I said, can I ask you a favour” and so I acquired my chocolate! BUT that is not where it ended dear reader – he as quick as a flash replied “Can I ask you a favour” to which I obviously replied “sure” after all he had just rescued me from not being able to have a sugar rush! He wanted a loaf of bread, eggs (nope not 6 – but 48) and a 6 pack of long-life milk. I was a bit irritated; I would be lying to say I wasn’t. But what had he done (I guess what I had done to myself) I had created an awkward situation! So, I said ok, well go get the bread and I will meet you at the eggs. It was at this point a SPAR employee walking past said, “he is conning you – he will go and sell these groceries at the bus stop” – well, when tall guy returned, I blurted out “are you going to sell all these at the bus stop?” – his reply and expression told me he was! So, I didn’t buy the eggs and milk – since I had already got the bread, I figured let me pay for that – but I sure won’t be taken again. Years ago, there was a young (rough looking) man who walked around the supermarket and used to say he wasn’t looking for money – he had a baby at home and needed formula and nappies. Well of course as a mom – you don’t hesitate to help him. Gary had seen him a couple of times before, so we decided to follow him. Sure, as nuts – he took the goodies and headed for the bus stop and yip he sold them! Reminds me of a situation when we still lived in Durban. I went to fetch the kids from school and walking forlornly along the pavement was a little kid crying – he was in a school uniform – being a mom you ask if he is lost what can you do to help? He told me he had lost his bus fare – I gave him the bus fare. A few weeks later I was at work and my colleague came back from fetching her kids (same school my kids were at) – she was distraught. She told us about the kid who was crying, and he had lost his bus fare. Yip – con artist of note – the thing about this is – it puts one in an awkward situation – you will never trust again – and when that person that really lost their bus fare comes and asks you like “yeah right! not on your Nelly….”!
What about the awkwardness when someone asks if you keen to join them for a coffee/braai/lunch/dinner and you most certainly are not! But you accept – of course you do (if you me!) and then think of all the reasons you can come up with to cancel! (Nope its none of you – trust me you would know if it was!!!) My worst – I have mentioned this in a previous blog. When someone calls me by the incorrect name! Popular ones are Sue or Linda. I feel too blady awkward to say – its Liz – so for the rest of time to that person I am Sue/Linda. What is awkward is when you with another person and you see that person who is having a long chitty chat catch up to Sue/Linda and you can see the person with you is thinking WTF? I recall Chad and I were getting him a Peanut bomb from Kauai – a lady (complete stranger) walked in and was delighted, beyond delighted to see me. She asked, “how are the girls, how is so and so and when last did you see that one” and, on and on she went. When she finally left (it literally was about fifteen minutes) Chad asked who she was – I replied I have no idea my love! He was horrified – “Mom why didn’t you just tell her you got the wrong person?” I felt too …. yip you guessed ….awkward!
Another situation, when you in an “awkward” situation – when the Uber driver picks you up – me being typically me – I cannot just shut up I need to chat – so am asking what he does (obvious Dizabeth he is an Uber driver!) how does his wife feel about him being an uber driver. That’s when he says I am not married ….argh or worse – your car goes in for a service, they give you a lift home – in your own blady car NOGAL ….and they DRIVE !!!!! What’s with that??
Be honest now, how many times – or is it just me – you are walking in the mall and there is a cardboard cutout and you know you know them! You definitely know that person (they usually always a sports person advertising some energy boost or some such, so of course you know them!) you approach them – smiling and ready for a catch up when you realise (if you lucky you notice) that it’s actually a cardboard cutout!
I recall my sister – we were both teens and in the CNA. Some woman was reading a magazine (Gosh remember how loads of peeps used to do that!) and she asked me “isn’t that Terri” – okay so we could only see the back of “Terri” – “yip” it is I replied confidently. You sure she checked – yip I replied – so she went up behind this woman and in a gruff voice said, “and what are you doing here?” well as you have no doubt realized it wasn’t Terri. Oh, my word I could hardly breath I laughed sooo much! What about when you tell a joke, and the recipient doesn’t get it – or worse! When you forget the end of the blady joke! Ah I remember YEARS ago ….. there was this joke about Henry Kissenger…. So you go “and so Henry, Henry ahhhhh um … Henry???” and you waiting for someone to say his surname ….. and my luck – I had the whole nation standing listening to the joke and no one knew his surname – so someone said “never mind just carry on with the joke” …. Well didn’t that joke go down like a lead balloon!
It’s just as bad when you wave at someone – and it’s the wrong person. Now, do you know how many times I have found myself in that predicament. And don’t I always pretend – no not you the person behind you – erm not!!!
What about when you “butt dial” and that person rings you back – sooooo enthusiastically for a catch-up chat and you so not in the mood – hmmmm or not even necessarily anything to do with your mood – you in fact don’t know that person well enough that you would even give them a call in the first place. Now, I hear you saying then why the heck is that person in your contacts! So, here’s a thing – take a look through your contacts. How many of the names do you recognize immediately – yip we all have a few in our contacts – be honest. That time you ordered that cake, and you saved their number to collect it – or a friend of a friend who you needed to chat to that once.
I adore my grandson, he is part of our tribe and he is right up there with my two boys. He is my everything. Now saying this, I have never really been a “baby person” obviously besides my baby boys I never really am drawn to a newborn baby, as in desperate to hold and ‘ohh and ahh’ over. Just isn’t me – so when someone starts pushing their baby on me it’s awkward. Let’s be honest 99% of woman do love to oh and ah a baby. So, for this very reason I do feel a bit yikes – I know! Dizabeth Right! I am a HUGE Ricky Gervais fan – if you are too and you havnt seen Humanity – Ricky shares his experience of when this exact situation occurs …its brilliant – check it out.
PS: Another footnote here: we welcomed our second grandson, Ian on 22nd February, I adore him and do enjoy cuddling him, I reckon for me its family thing, not so much when the little one is not a family babe. Would rather be cuddling my glass of vino if I am honest. I know, I know I hear some of you tut tut tuttering to yourself.
Last week I bumped into an old friend, we were both at a really super cool, newly discovered coffee Gary and I) with our hubby’s, I said hello to her, we chatted, chatted and then chatted some more, when out the blue she asked us to join them – without batting an eye I answered “No thanks we good” to which she replied quite indignantly – “So, I haven’t seen you in years, we have so much to catch up on and you don’t want to sit with us?” – yip you guessed, awkward.
And saving the best for last!! Last weekend we were in Kruger. Now we all have seen when you approach a hide the SILENT signs that are everywhere! So we in Gardenia Hide, there is another group as well as Gary and myself. Gary is quietly whispering the sound (call) a particular bird is calling – the lady in the other party quietly whispers back what she thinks it is. Next we hear a single sharp clear ping or beep or maybe the sound made in the wild – everyone looks at one another – puzzlement clear on their faces – dare they even voice their thoughts – what could that have been – I had to hesitantly admit – sorry guys it’s me – I just got a whats app!
And that dear readers – is my thoughts and tales on awkwardness – so for now it’s all she wrote. Thanks for loving my blog the way you do.
Take care. ALWAYS be kind to yourself.
Mwah mwah
You are a darling inspiration ❤️
LOve you heaps Suzy thanks for your kind words.