Blog 58 – When conference comes a knocking!

Thinking about this title, it doesn’t necessarily need to be a conference. It can be a mom’s weekend, wine club weekend, Book club retreat – just a brief period of time away from the family and “duties of mommy hood” 😊 – Tsk Tsk I hear you sigh to yourself; Why oh why would I need time away from the kids (and hubby) well, dear reader my question to you; “Why indeed not?”

So, in my case, it was conference. Because of COVID we hadn’t had a conference in a while, since COVID we meet virtually every week, same time same place, mostly on the same day! So, we don’t have to be caught unawares when we hear that ZOOM ringing deep within the belly of our computers. We are ready and in fact we love that time together. (Oh, my giddy aunt I sound like Carol Burnett now! You know which song I am talking about dear reader – well you oldies will. That one she used to sing at the end of her show I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song”!) Ok now that was a major digression, anyhow so we are all spit spot and ready for our weekly ZOOM and of late in those ZOOMs our boss had even questioned us about available dates etc., for our NON-Zooming looming conference. Ok, so let me explain, we work remotely (nope, this we cannot blame on COVID) that’s what we signed up for when we joined our company and yip, it is the perfect job – let’s be honest for a mom its frikken the ideal position! We have an amazing team (and no, no dear reader I am not simply saying this as I know my blog is out there and the boss lady may read this – not at all!) We truly are an incredible team. We have been together for centuries. (Nope not kidding) as you know I am 60, and the rest of the team are 60 over or under, but not as low as 20” s – you get my drift! Some of us are even Nans/grans. We are a team, and I will go so far as to say – we are firm friends as well. We are scattered throughout South Africa too. So now that you have a bit of a background lets get back to the conference/book club retreat whatever the reason may be that Mama bear/wife/ could/would be away from home for a couple of days – and the real, the true real beauty of this invite.

 For one, not having to make dinner or school lunches in the morning or having to clean up after making dinner/breakfast/lunch whatever meal you are making! Instead, ta da …….. YOU dear reader will be served – yip – the tables have changed, and you will be served! You don’t have to think about what to cook – ah and you could even have more than one choice for whatever meal you will be sitting down to be served to you! Another thing! You won’t have to lay the table – nope – you dear reader can arrive at the already set table, fresh as a daisy! Bliss, I hear you say – damn right! Heck – you could even have a glass of wine – uninterrupted! Okay just a thought here, the above paragraph sounds like one of those Peter Stuyvesant cigarette ads in the late 70s do you recall them? Once again oldie readers!

For those of you that have a glass of wine whilst stirring the gravy, (how many times do we burn ourselves, distracted as we check on the roast in the oven?) listening to the little one read, as the older ones bicker in the background all whilst hubby sits and watches a replay – yip a replay of last – yip last Saturdays rugby game, in case, just perhaps the score will change from the final score last Saturday! And on that note, imagine YOU holding the TV remote, you have domain of that little device. Netflix and chill? That is the other dream come true scenario; the bed is all yours! You can stretch out, lay in the middle, wrap all the blankets around you without having to cling to them for dear life worrying they will be snatched away from you. No one encroaching on your side of the bed, slowly easing you off the bed! At least 6 hours (or more – the choice is yours – how brilliant that is!) peaceful sleep. And no one will holler your name in the dark of the night, no one will awaken you from your slumber as they awaken from a bad dream. Nor will any dogs be pawing you to let them out for midnight toilet time.

Alas, I digressed there a bit, getting back to the drinking an uninterrupted glass of chilled wine. While on conference, definitely not on girls weekends away, drinking of alcoholic beverages – this I keep to a minimum if any at all!!! I tend to get very emotive, hugging every half a minute and repeating stories – so best we keep this to a minimum at a conference. Mind you on this one, I have been suffering from an extremely sore neck (degeneration of the neck bone!) and as winter settles in it’s a tad more painful – so there I was sitting being the brave warrior as we partook in an evening of Sip and paint – halfway through I figured to the angel sitting on my right shoulder; perhaps that’s exactly the “tonic” I need to loosen this old neck of mine? So, the funniest was up till then I was extremely quiet, I suppose you could even say reserved. My neck was sore, and it was the first day of conference, we arrive from the airport and head straight for the conference room. It is a very busy time – lots to discuss, learn and share so I do believe after waking pretty early, as we usually on the first flight to arrive at conference timeously, we are all pretty tired that first night. Me included, that was until I took a trillion sips of my wine – didn’t the chitty chatty, hugging and repeative version of dearest me enter the room! Not to mention Michelangelo that completed my water colour painting I was working on – a forest of trees.

Another interesting point (on my side dear reader) why is it we find it necessary to eat a truly, truly huge breakfast when away?  My Daily routine at home I have a coffee, THAT’S IT!

Nothing till dinner generally, on conference 10am I am salivating for the cream cakes, muffins, croissants and such – why? Then comes lunchtime – a meal that would suffice for a dinner – and we scoff it down! And then it’s another teatime and wait it’s not finished – a huge dinner followed by dessert.

So, after all the totally unnecessary eating I have done, how amazing, truly amazing is it, waking in your king size “died and gone to heaven” bed. What is it about the beds in hotels? Their linen, duvets, blankets and pillows! Add to that – the mattress! Oh, my giddy aunt where are they made? My guess is La La Land heaven and then waking and having the bathroom to yourself, not having to be last in the line and endure another cold shower! Bliss – pure bliss add to that – taking as long as you want in that bathroom.

So, let’s step back – when you receive the mail/phone call inviting you to conference/girls weekend away. Not too sure how you react, but dearest reader I will always, yip always downplay it. And who taught me this? My dearest, darling husband, throughout the years whenever he has had a business trip (90% of the time they international trips!!!) I know right! He broaches the subject but always with plenty sighs interspersed in-between the news. “ah babe (first sigh!!) Today I was informed (second sigh) I have to go on a business trip (sigh!sigh!sigh!) and then wait for it ….here comes the best part:“it really is the last thing I feel like right now!” so when its my turn, guess who follows his lead😊. When in fact I am quietly visualizing me flick flacking across the runway to the plane! 😊

In the early days I do need to confess I found it quite daunting having to travel alone. I know – even checking in for my flight I would break into a sweat (and I wasn’t anywhere near menopause then!) Mind you, these days what with our cellular devices its so easy to do all that  and don’t the airlines spoon feed you – so all is good there😊 but how wonderful is it to just be worried about YOU! No additional baggage to worry about. Not having to constantly check if Chloe or Jack still have their comfy blankie or have forgotten Thumper on the bench at the boarding gates. Nope just gather my goods and off I hop, skip and jump to boarding. Bliss! My biggest concern, remembering to take my motion sick tablet an hour before takeoff. Interesting coming back from conference – I was sitting about to board when it suddenly dawned on me – yikes I hadn’t taken the tablet!!! I panicked as I unsettled every department in my bag looking for the blady tablet. I was fine on that flight. I did wonder, is it perhaps psychosomatic? I did find and take the tablet though, so hmm?

Wrapping up this article, am I alone or do all you ladies out there look forward to an invite – a brief respite from the 24/7 of home? Absolutely there is no place like home, and after been away there is no better feeling than walking through the front door, hearing those happy voices welcoming you home and those gorgeous smiles as they wrap their arms around you. After a long day in the conference room, as I open my hotel room door, and firstly breath in that greatness of seeing your bed is made, your room is tidied, all refreshments have been replaced, and none of this was done by me, I always holler out to anyone listening : “Honey I am home” – and yip when you walk through your front door of your home – there is no better feeling than HOME!

But in saying that, there is nothing better than ME time, chicken soup for our souls albeit because of conference/wineclub/bookclub or girls retreat! As you walk through that door, how crazy is it, in fact It probably subconsciously enters your mind as you step on the plane, or as you and your girlfriends traverse on the highway bound for home.  “What will I make for dinner tonight” I wonder if Chloe’s blankie needs a wash? I hope Suzy did well in her oral and what level of reading is she on now?”

So next time you asked to join the girls, or conference comes a knocking – embrace it dear reader – wallow in the ME time!

Till next time this is all she wrote, stay well and warm and remember be kind you yourself, ALWAYS.